


Of Assassins and Hearts

by Kittyfandom



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Assassins, Blood, F/M, NSFW, Sex, Soulmate AU, There were TWO beds, Violence, dead dove do not eat, do not repost without permission
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:27:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22232509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittyfandom/pseuds/Kittyfandom
Summary: His thoughts became distant. There was no way your soulmate could possibly be somebody so callous. Somebody so hurtful. The feelings washed over you, momentarily blanking out your surroundings. The feeling of sadness washed over you, making your eyes prickle before the feeling of rage settled in. You yanked open your bag and snatched the ruined letter from it, looking at it until the words blurred. With another spurt of anger you tore the letter into shreds violently, letting the pieces fall to the ground. A dark chuckle rang in your head, still muffled.“Asshole.”
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 30
Kudos: 156





	1. First meeting and second guessing

**Author's Note:**

> This was Beta'd by the amazing interestingpumpkin and thinkwritexpress they can be found here on AO3.
> 
> Thanks guys you're the best.
> 
> Now dearest reader lay your eyes on this adventure. But do not despair things aren't quite what they seems.....yes they are everything sucks. Don't let your nerve waver.

You smiled down at the letter you’d just written for a customer. The handwriting was beyond beautiful, thanks to your soulmate. The letter you drafted was a thank you note for a wedding invitation. As you dipped your pen nib in the ink pot beside you, your table jostled, the ink splashing out of the pot onto the paper. You glared at the offending drop then up at the table jostler. An attractive red-headed man gave you a sheepish smile.

“Sorry about that,” he said, British accent soft in your ears.

You glared at him until the smile slid from his face. This was the last piece of linen paper you had on you, and the letter was due to be sent out tomorrow.

“Just be careful next time,” you told him with a sigh.

You looked down at the ink stain spreading across the paper and started to pack up; you’d only come to this café to finish that note. With expert precision you cleaned the nib of your pen and stowed it in its box. While you packed your mind worked on sorting out your issue. You needed more linen paper and you needed it now.

With everything packed, you shoved your chair back and stood. You grabbed your pack, heading toward the door when a tall, dark-haired man bumped into you. Your words failed you as you looked over him fully, he was attractive but not in the traditional Hollywood definition - strong features and a few moles graced his face.

“You’re in my way,” he told you, voice dark and husky.

The sound travelled down your spine while pain sliced up your arm. You grabbed your forearm with a hiss, the pain temporarily blinding you. A splitting pain in your skull distracted you from the pain in your arm and you grabbed your head with a gasp. The sound of his gasp rang in your ears.

__

_ What the hell is going on,  _ the dark baritone voice echoed in your head, muffled.

You ignored the pounding in your head and sting in your arm and bolted from the café. You jogged quickly down the sidewalk, the pain fading as you ran. After a few blocks the pain in your head fully subsided, but the pain in your arm hadn’t subsided. You put your back against a glass shop window and rolled up your sleeve. In flowing text across your arm were the words  _ statio male fida  _ and a roman numeral. Since you didn’t speak Latin or remember every roman numeral, you pulled your sleeve down.

“What the hell just happened?”

The only two people you’d had contact with today had been the red-headed man and the dark-haired man, and judging from the markings on your arm, one of them had to be your soulmate. That was the only explanation. You hoped red-head was the One, as he was attractive enough and he’d apologized for wrecking your work.

__

_ Wrong _ , the dark baritone said in your head.

The face of the dark haired man flashed behind your eyes.

__

_ That’s the ticket, _ the voice said in your head.

“You’re my soulmate?”

__

_ And you’re the idiot that walked between me and my target,  _ he said.

Rude.

__

_ I can hear you ya know,  _ he said irritation coloring the tone.

You shrugged, not that he could see you.

“Do you want to meet and discuss this? About us being soulmates and everything,” you asked aloud.

You knew that your thoughts should have been heard but you felt silly talking to him in your head. You waited for a reply but nothing was forthcoming. You sighed and started your journey home.

__

_ Why would I want to discuss being soulmates? You’re a liability,  _ he stated, still muffled but heated all the same.

__

_ Can you fight? _

“No.”

__

_ Can you shoot? _

“No.”

__

_ What can you do? What can you bring to my life,  _ he asked tauntingly.

“I’m an amanuensis,” you answered feeling the sting of his words.

__

_ Oh, so you write pretty letters for people with my handwriting, good for you. But not particularly useful _ , he told you.

“You don’t have to be mean about it,” you told him, tears starting to prick at your eyes. “At least tell me your name.”

__

_ No. _

His thoughts became distant. There was no way your soulmate could possibly be somebody so callous. Somebody so hurtful. The feelings washed over you, momentarily blanking out your surroundings. The feeling of sadness washed over you, making your eyes prickle before the feeling of rage settled in. You yanked open your bag and snatched the ruined letter from it, looking at it until the words blurred. With another spurt of anger you tore the letter into shreds violently, letting the pieces fall to the ground. A dark chuckle rang in your head, still muffled.

“Asshole.”

__

_ Yep. _

The man on the sidewalk in front of you gave you a strange look before increasing his pace to get away from you. You pulled headphones out, connecting them to your phone and starting up German dance metal. You didn’t speak the language but it generally made you feel better.

You walked aimlessly for what felt like hours before finding yourself in front of your favorite paper shop. Max, the owner, made and sold specialty papers and had a little bit of a crush on you, not that you’d entertained it with the possibility of your soulmate being out there. Your asshole soulmate.

You pushed into the store, the smell of the different papers overwhelming you, a mixture of old books and freshly printed paper. Just the smell alone could lift your spirits. Max waved at you from behind the counter while showing a customer a stack of papers. You browsed the shelves while Max and the customer talked before the bell behind you signaled the customer leaving.

“Hey, Y/N, what’s up?” Max asked, a bright smile on his face.

“Met my soulmate today,” you answered, frowning.

You watched the emotions dance across his face from disappointment to happiness to settle finally on curiosity as he walked around the counter to stand beside you.

“Are they not good people?”

“He didn’t even tell me his name. But he was kind enough to tell me I’m basically useless,” you answered, feeling small.

A tear slid down your cheek and you turned away, hoping to hide it from Max. He caught your chin and turned it to him, running a finger over your cheek and capturing the rogue drop.

“Did you tell him that you could probably murder him with that calligraphy pen of yours? I feel like that’s something he needed to know,” Max said, drawing a watery chuckle from you.

Max pulled you into his arms and you let him. Your soulmate being a dick was a burden you hadn’t been prepared to accept.

__

_ I’ve just rejected you and you’re already in another man’s arms,  _ his voice rang in your head mockingly.  _ You move fast. _

“How’s about you fuck off?”

Max pulled away from you, alarmed, and you tapped your head to signal that you weren’t talking to him but answering the annoying voice in your head. Max rolled his eyes and shook his head. He hadn’t found his soulmate yet, but he understood the annoyance.

“Let’s get you some dinner. My treat,” he offered with a smile.

“Sure. I gotta get some supplies first though,” you answered.

“You grab ‘em while I close up. I’ll send you the invoice tomorrow.”

You nodded and immersed yourself in the papers while you listened to Max count the register and fiddle around. The bell over the door ringing signaled a late customer. You looked up to find the red-headed man from earlier, but as he looked you over, his gaze lingered for just a second too long, making you uncomfortable.

“We’re closed,” Max called.

The ginger man turned and walked out without a word. You watched him go, rubbing your arms to get rid of the goosebumps that had risen while he watched you. Max came up beside you. casually slinging his arm around you and watching the man walk down the street.

“So that was him then?”

You shook your head no; you’d only seen him the one time at the café.

“I’ll tell you what I know about my soulmate while we eat,” you countered, sliding from under his arm and stepping away.

After the hug earlier, you’d had enough. Your soulmate’s words still burned in you mind “ _ moving fast _ .” It pissed you off that his comment bothered you and that you felt a twinge of guilt. He’d thoroughly rejected you, why shouldn’t you move on? 


	2. Annoying Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max sighed, waiting for you to tell him more, but aside from the conversation in your head there wasn’t much to tell. You rubbed a finger over the remaining salt on the rim of the glass and savored the tang of it in your mouth while you pondered your situation. This whole soulmate thing was bulls**t. You looked up to find Max watching you, his face unreadable. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was Beta'd by the amazing interestingpumpkin and thinkwritexpress they can be found here on AO3.
> 
> Thanks guys you're the best.
> 
> Stay true readers it gets....somewhere don't ask me I don know.

You had barely slid into the booth at your favorite restaurant when Max learned across the table, eyes eager. 

“So tell me about the mystery asshole,” he demanded.

“Let me order a drink first.”

Max nodded, leaning back quietly, eyes scanning you. You looked everywhere but him, not wanting to try to decipher the look in his eyes. You knew Max had at least a small crush on you, but you hadn’t even entertained the idea that maybe he’d make a good partner. 

“Hi, I’ll be your server this evening,” a voice near your elbow said. “What can I get you?”

“I’ll have a strawberry margarita please,” you answered with a smile, flipping through the menu.

Max raised an eyebrow at you in shock before ordering himself a gin and tonic. His drink order caused you to raise an eyebrow at him; Max wasn’t a heavy drinker in the best of times.

“Didn’t want you to be hungover alone.”

You scanned the menu quickly just as a sound started up in your head. You couldn’t immediately identify them and you listened hard, trying to hear through the muffling. Your face heated when you finally placed the noises.

“Son of a bitch,” you swore.

Several customers turned toward you and the server carrying your drinks looked at you in confusion; even Max gave you a questioning look. You held up a finger, stalling his question in an attempt to fully process the sounds in your head.

“The bastard is having sex,” you forced out.

You grabbed your drink and took a large swing, savoring the sting of the alcohol. The rich sounds of your soulmate’s voice in your head while he had sex were both titillating and annoying. He had the gall to reject you and then go pick up some floozy for a quick fuck!

“You know I can hear you, right?” you growled.

His dark chuckle told you he didn’t care.

“Can you shut him out?” Max asked, looking uncomfortable.

“I don’t know how to,” you answered back, frustration coloring your tone.

“My friend told me that if you can focus hard enough you can create a barrier in your mind from your soulmate,” he said.

He reached across the table and pulled your hands to his, fully drawing your attention. You tried to pull your hands back gently, but he held firm.

“Let me ask him to stop first.”

Max nodded, eyes still focused on you. The look in his eyes make you nervous about his intent, and you tugged your hands away again, a little harder this time, and he let go.

“Hey do you mind keeping it down? The sounds of you getting laid aren’t something I need in my head,” you asked irritated. 

_ And that’s my problem how?  _ he asked, voice dark and rich, almost tangible.

You felt like you wanted to be wrapped in that dark chocolate voice, savoring every ounce. Images of him undressing flashed in your head, making your mouth water.

“Stop being an asshole,” you scolded, yanking yourself out of the images he placed in your head. 

You turned to Max, frowning, “Tell me how to keep him out.”

“Just focus on something until you can’t hear him. Maybe that music you like so much,” he offered by way of suggestion.

You closed your eyes and concentrated on an Elvis song. After a few seconds, "Devil in Disguise" overwhelmed sound of your soulmate’s internal monologue. He sure was chatty while having sex! You let out the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding, then reached for your glass and chugged the remaining contents. 

“You’ve had your drink and I’ve ordered food and a second drink, now tell me about this guy,” Max said. 

Your shoulders tightened.

“Is he a hunchback? Some creepy dude that stares down girl’s shirts? Lay it on me.”

“He is absolutely stunning,” you told Max. 

“Like Hollywood, Henry Cavill sexy?”

The server plopped another margarita glass in front of you and without a word you snatched the drink and brought it to your lips, downing the whole thing. Max signalled at the server and pointed at your second empty glass, but you were too lost in your thoughts to really notice.

“He is tall, dark, and handsome babes,” you told him roughly. Maybe chugging the booze hadn’t been the best idea.

Max raised his eyebrows at the nickname, it was one you’d pulled out after a few drinks or trying to comfort him. You weren’t far enough along with alcohol to justify it, but it felt right.

“Come on, I need more than that. How tall, how handsome, long hair or man bun type?  _ Deets _ ,” Max urged.

“Long hair, dark, maybe black. Tall, like 6’3” or 6’4”” you told him, thoughts turned introspective as you think of how your soulmate is  _ totally _ your type; well, he  _ would _ be, if he wasn’t such an asshole. But sometimes fate had a funny way of throwing just the thing you want in your face just to snatch it away.

Max sighed, waiting for you to tell him more, but aside from the conversation in your head there wasn’t much to tell. You rubbed a finger over the remaining salt on the rim of the glass and savored the tang of it in your mouth while you pondered your situation. This whole soulmate thing was bullshit. You looked up to find Max watching you, his face unreadable. 

The waiter slid 2 plates of food onto the table and 2 drinks, another margarita and an old fashioned. 

“We didn’t order this,” you said, pointing at the latter.

“It’s from the lovely gentlemen at the bar, he said you were friends,” the server said, gesturing behind them.

You looked of the server’s shoulder, spotting the ginger man from earlier. He gave you a small smile and saluted you with his own drink. In response, you pushed the drink back toward the server, disgust evident on you face.

“I don’t know him.”

The server frowned and took the drink away, delivering it to the man at the bar. He scowled as the server relayed your words to him, then threw a few bills on the bar and stormed out. The server caught your eye and shrugged in apology. 

Max swapped your two plates around, sitting a mouthwatering plate of chicken street tacos in front of you. You dug in with enthusiasm, letting out a groan of pleasure. The flavors of the chicken tacos complimented the newest margarita, which you slowly sipped at now.

“So, did you get the tattoo?” he asked taking a sip of his drink.

You shoved the plate of tacos away, suddenly not hungry anymore. You rolled up your sleeve and presented your forearm to him. 

“What’s it mean?”

You shrugged, unsure. You hadn’t bothered to look it up.

Max fished his phone out of his pocket and typed in the phrase.

“Unsafe 2,” He said confusion coloring the words. “I’ve never seen unsafe before.”

You felt your eyes widen in shock. Max was the expert in latin phrases and soulmate tattoos, or damn close to it, and if he hadn’t seen it might mean nothing or it might mean everything. Max pulled his wallet from his pocket and tapped it on his chin. 

“Who is unsafe? You or him?”

You shrugged. You didn’t know enough about the man the man to even guess who was attracting danger. Max swiped is card at the table-side kiosk and pulled you out of the booth. 

“Your place or mine?”

“You’re making it sound like we’re gonna hook up, babes,” you told him with a giggle. The third margarita was starting to worm its way into your system. 

“I love you, ya know,” Max said firmly. 

“I don’t think I’ve had enough to drink to love anybody, babes.”

You skipped down the sidewalk, head buzzing pleasantly. You knew you’d regret the 3 drinks in the morning, but right now you’d rather skip along than worry about your problems. 

“Slow down. Not all of us have been touched by the booze fairy,” Max called from behind you. 

You stopped and watched him jog to catch up to you. You loosed a wild laugh and launched yourself at him. He caught you, spinning you around and laughing wildly himself. 

“You’re my best friend babes,” you told him with a happy smile. “Just… thanks for being awesome and listening to me bitch.”

  
  


Sunlight streaming in the big window of your studio apartment woke you, as the curtains hadn’t been drawn and light filtered in. You threw your arm over your face with a groan, blocking the light and trying to calm the pounding in your head as you let out another groan.

“Well look who is awake,” Max said voice chipper.

“Fuck off,” you groaned.

“Well that’s no way to treat the guy that has pain killers and orange juice.”

You uncover your eyes long enough to take the 2 tiny pills and juice from him. You glared at him for being so chipper and not hungover. His 2 gin and tonics were stronger than your 3 margaritas. It wasn’t fair. 

“I gotta get to the shop, but we can talk later okay,” Max told you.

He surprised you then leaning over and placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. You rubbed the spot while you watched him leave, having no idea what that was about. You wondered if you’d done something to make him think you were interested in him. You pondered over your situation: One guy that wanted you and one that wanted nothing to do with you.

“Shit.”

_ Now that you’re awake, you mind keeping Elvis to a minimum?  _ the voice asked you.

You winced at the sound of his voicerattling around in your skull and making your head scream.

_ Good. _

“You’re a jerk,” you answered back, smoothing your hand over your face.

_ Yeah, yeah you’ve said. Cool it with Elvis,  _ he growled.

“Tell me your name and I’ll consider it.”

After a long pause a reply came.

_ Kylo _ .

“Kylo,” you said out loud, tasting the word.

_ Now will you can the Elvis? _ he asked tone close to a whine.

“Nope.”

You concentrated on the song “Devil in Disguise,” blocking out the stream of swear words he leveled at you. You smiled. Two can play the asshole game, and only one of you would win.


	3. Misfortunate Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You dressed in the bathroom, not wanting to be undressed in front of the bracelet - it gave you the feeling of being watched. It hadn’t moved when you emerged fully dressed in jeans and a ratty band tee. You ignored it as you gathered your supplies and postal mailings that needed sending. You popped your earbuds in and started more German dance metal before heading out of the apartment for your business, purposely forgetting the bracelet on the table. 
> 
> Your trip to the post office was almost unremarkable, until the carrier behind the desk asked if you and Max had gone out yet; your mood instantly shifted. You didn’t want to think about Max at that moment. You didn’t want to think about what the bracelet what it implied. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!!  
> The Reader's drink is spiked. I've put lines at the beginning and end of that section of sensetive writing. Skip it if situation bothers you.  
> !!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!
> 
> This was Beta'd by the amazing interestingpumpkin and thinkwritexpress they can be found here on AO3. I really appreciate you guys from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> The first chapter I said don't despair...Maybe its time to despair now....

You kept up the steady stream of Elvis while you got ready for the day. You downed the orange juice and pain meds Max gave you before climbing out of the bed, then quickly pulled off your day old clothes and walked into your twin bathroom. After a quick shower, you felt ready for the world. 

Wrapped in a towel, you retrieved your bag from the table where you’d dropped it at some point. The bag was heavier than it should have been. Confused, you reached inside and pulled out a medium-sized red velvet box. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight, and you slowly opened the box to find a charm bracelet and two words on a tiny card, _Rain Check_. The note slid out of your hand and onto the floor while you looked at the bracelet.

“Shit,” you growled, dropping the bracelet on the table where your bag had sat.

You dressed in the bathroom, not wanting to be undressed in front of the bracelet - it gave you the feeling of being watched. It hadn’t moved when you emerged fully dressed in jeans and a ratty band tee. You ignored it as you gathered your supplies and postal mailings that needed sending. You popped your earbuds in and started more German dance metal before heading out of the apartment for your business, purposely forgetting the bracelet on the table. 

Your trip to the post office was almost unremarkable, until the carrier behind the desk asked if you and Max had gone out yet; your mood instantly shifted. You didn’t want to think about Max at that moment. You didn’t want to think about what the bracelet what it implied. 

“He is my best friend,” you said out loud tapping your lips nervously. “Can’t date your best friend. It’s unethical. It’s unheard of.”

You made your way to the cafe you’d sat in earlier, thoughts loud and anxious. Thoughts about Max and what dating him would mean for you. Thoughts about Kylo.

“Kylo is a non issue. He has made it clear that he wants nothing to do with me,” you said out loud, voice laced with anger. “First sign of insanity? Talking to yourself.”

You slid into a booth and waved your phone at the barista, signaling that you’d order a drink from their app. You tapped your order out and sat at a table in the corner facing out toward 

“One of the other baristas brought me a drink that isn’t my order,” you told her politely.

The barista looked at you in confusion, “Not possible, it’s only me here today.”

“One of the others brought me a drink,” you insisted, shoving the cup toward the barista.

* * *

She just shook her head. You walked back to your seat, confused. It was a cup from that cafe, maybe the workers were just playing a joke? You sat back in your seat, feeling drowsiness settle over you. You stretched, trying to shake it off, but it proved impossible. You clumsily packed up your supplies, your fingers feeling fat and stiff. You stood on unsteady feet, listing to the side as you tried to bring your thoughts around but everything seemed so slow.

“Are you feeling okay darling? Let’s get you home,” a voice said near your elbow. 

You turned to find the redheaded man from yesterday at your side. He took your arm gently and pulled you from the cafe. You weakly pulled away from him, stumbling into a table. You felt him take your arm again, and even though you wanted to pull away from him, you were strangely disconnected from yourself. 

You watched as the red headed man pulled you out of the cafe, feet slightly dragging. He pulled you into an alley and leaned you up against a wall while a black van backed toward you. 

“Did you give it to her?”

The barista that brought you the drink jumped out of the front and pulled the back doors open.

“Yeah Hux I gave it to her, but she only took a sip,” the barista answered.

“Phasma, you better hope you didn’t fuck this up,” the red head, Hux, answered, voice dangerous.

Phasma didn’t answer, choosing to pull you away from the wall and into her. A voice called out but it was muffled. Your name, you think. The voice was closer, screaming now. Your vision greyed at the edges as you fell, dropped by Phasma. Max’s face swam into view just before your vision faded to black.

* * *

_Hey wake up,_ Kylo’s voice rang in your head, setting everything spinning.

You groaned as your head spun and you bile rose in your throat.

“Gonna puke.”

You felt a bowl being shoved into your hands, and not a moment too soon. You emptied the contents of your stomach while tears streamed from your eyes. When you finished throwing up, a wet cloth came into view followed by a bottle of water. You snatched the cloth and wiped your face.

“What happened Y/N?”

The sound of Max’s voice triggered ringing in your ears, making you wince in pain. You release the bowl of vomit to him when he tugged it gently from you and closed your eyes against the light stinging your eyes.

“Do you remember what happened?” Max asked in a whisper.

“I went to the cafe to catch up on work. A barista brought me a coffee but it wasn’t mine, and then that guy from the restaurant showed up,” you answered racking your brain for more information.

“I showed up to them trying to load you into the back of a murder van,” Max whispered, anger coloring his voice.

“Murder van?”

“Black, illegal window tint, the whole nine.”

You let out a little chuckle that set your head spinning. Obviously they weren’t gonna actually murder you.

_Whatever you took, you might not wanna take it again,_ Kylo said smugly. _That was a bad trip._

You scowled at his words. Of course he wouldn’t care what just happened to you. He was just worried about it ruining his pristine hair.

_Let that boy take care of you. He likes you and I’ve got better things to do,_ Kylo told you. _And stop it with Elvis, it's a serious buzzkill._

You grimaced and focused all your energy into playing to song in your head as loudly as possible. Was it childish? Maybe. Did he deserve it? _Absolutely_.

“What did he say,” Max asked, tapping his temple.

“That he is an asshole who will grow to love Devil in Disguise.”

“I don’t think that what he said.”

“I’m paraphrasing.”

You laughed at the look on Max’s face.

“You are a cruel, cruel woman. Remind me not to let you in my head,” he teased, leaning away from you.

You smiled at him sweetly.

“Yep, evil.”

After a few seconds, the silence between you became uncomfortable. You climbed off the futon Max used as a bed and stretched. Despite puking, you felt fairly energized.

“What did the police say when you called about my attempted kidnapping?”

“That they had a report of a drunk woman and they you were lucky they didn’t toss you in the drunk tank,” Max answered with a frown. “How do you know this isn’t some ploy by him?”

You rolled your eyes. Of course this couldn’t be due to your own merits, it had to be something to do with Kylo. You were frustrated. You didn’t think he would fake a kidnapping to woo you. He had no trouble in the looks department.

“Do you have my stuff? I wanna get home,” you asked, ignoring the question.

“No. I checked inside the cafe, they don’t have it. I thought maybe you just didn’t take it with you,” Max answered brow furrowed.

“Just fucking great. I’ve been robbed as well,” you growled angrily. 

This week couldn’t possibly get any worse at this point.

“At least let me walk you home,” Max pleaded. 

You didn’t answer, choosing to storm from his apartment instead. You heard his door open and close behind you, him jogging to keep up with you.

“I live a street over, I think I could have made it alone.”

Max shrugged. You glared at him. How could he be so calm? Obviously it was because it wasn’t his life falling into tatters. You grimaced. You felt like a jerk. You couldn’t just take your wreck of a life out on him because he was unbothered. 

“I met my Soulmate once,” Max said quietly as you reached the front of your building.

“What? When?”

“A few years ago, before we met. She was a horrible woman. She came from a rich family and wanted a rich man so she could spend his money. But when she met me she blamed me for ruining her life and her dreams,” Max confided in you.

“What did you do,” you asked, leaning into him.

“I had my Mate mark covered. I tried to forget about her. I researched ways to break a mate bond... I found you,” Max answered, the latter whispered, almost to himself.

You ignored the whispered comment, choosing instead to go into your building. You turned and waved at him before taking the elevator up to your floor. You walked down the short hallway pulling up short when you saw him. The red haired man, leaning against your door. He lifted his head, stopping you in place as he stalked toward you.

“There you are darling. I’ve been waiting quite a while for you to arrive,” he taunted, his British accent softening the menace in his voice. 

“I don’t know you,” you answered hesitantly, backing away from him.

“But I know you, darling,” he answered, holding up your bag. “And better still, I know your soulmate.”

You hastily pressed the elevator call button, cursing. You felt him grab your wrist, pulling you into him. 

“Can’t have that now darling. Why don’t you invite me in for a drink? It’s only polite, since I’ve returned your belongings.”

He pulled you back to your apartment, pulling the clip with your keys off your pants and opening your door. He shoved you in and shut the door with a sharp click. 

“Soulmate of Kylo Ren. Who’d have ever thought that bastard would end up with a soulmate?”

“What the hell do you want from me,” You demanded.

“To destroy Kylo Ren thoroughly and completely.”

You barked out a humorless laugh, making the man frown.

“Kylo wants absolutely nothing to do with me. I don’t know what you hope to gain,” you told him dryly.

The man searched your face for answers. 

“Let’s get started and we will see where we find ourselves,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out zip tie cuffs. “I’m Armitage Hux and I’ll be your company for the evening.”

Panic bled through your veins at the sight. You turned and fled to the fire escape, tugging at the window and trying desperately to get it open. Armitage laughed behind you.

“Did you think I’d let you get out that easily,” he asked.

You spotted the nails around the edges of the window frame then. He’d been in before you and he’d nailed the window shut, effectively trapping you with him. 

“Now you can either let me put these on you the easy way, or you can make this hard for yourself, and trust me darling you won’t like hard,” he said behind you.

You turned to find the zip cuffs dangling off one finger and evil grin gracing his face, distorting his features. You thrust your hands out toward him, letting him pull the zip cuffs over your hands and pulling them tight. 

“Come on darling, sit. Let’s talk about this errant soulmate of yours,” he said, gesturing toward the sofa.

You sat beside him with a grimace. Your safe haven felt violated. Your phone buzzed in your pocket. Armitage reached in, pulling it out showing you the screen: Max’s name blazed across the screen with a picture of the two of you.

He answered and pressed the phone to your ear.

_“Hey Y/N i just wanted to make sure you made it up okay.”_

“Um, yeah, just some unexpected company is all,” you told him, carefully stressing the words.

_“How unexpected,”_ he asked, voice suspicious.

“Very,” you answered.

_“I’ll talk to you later then.”_

Armitage pulled the phone away from your ear with a glare.

“You better not have passed him a message,” he growled.

You rolled your eyes then.

“You heard the entire conversation. When did I have time to drop in a ‘hey, some random asshole has kidnapped me and taken me hostage in my apartment’?” you asked, tone dry.

He gripped your chin harshly pulling your face close to his.

“Don’t test me girl.”

You silently glared at the ginger man. Your only hope of rescue was hoping Max had gotten the message.

“I’m doomed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will our intrepid hero be saved from the clutches of this villian? Find out next time :)


	4. That Went...Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sounds from the other room startled you awake. It sounded like somebody had left the tv on and Netflix just autoplayed everything. You climbed off the bed, noticing that Kylo wasn’t there and the mess from patching him up was gone. You walked to the door, not trying to be overly quiet but the carpeting muffled your footsteps nevertheless. Max’s voice caught your attention and you paused at the door to listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was Beta'd by the amazing interestingpumpkin and thinkwritexpress they can be found here on AO3.
> 
> Thanks guys you are AMAZING!
> 
> The title says it all...

Armitage smiled at you in a predatory manner that made your skin crawl, and you turned your head away from him. 

“Oh no Darling, you are going to look at me while we talk,” he said, his voice deceptively sweet. 

You didn’t turn back toward him, but you felt the sofa shift as he leaned close to you.

“Easy way or hard way, Pet, it’s your decision.”

You turned toward him with a glare, anger radiating out of your every pore.

“I’m not your Pet or your darling,” you spat at him.

“I was trying to be polite. I can call you bitch or Kylo Ren’s Whore, which would you prefer?” he asked, voice dangerous.

Your shoulders sagged. This wasn’t a battle you needed to fight, this was barely a sparring match.

“Now, Pet, tell me what you know about Kylo.  _ Please _ .”

“I told you I don’t know anything about the man. I bumped into him in a cafe once, the first day I bumped into you. How do you know I’m not your Soulmate?” you questioned, cocking your head to the side.

“My soulmate is a beautiful, intelligent, strong woman named Phasma. You’re nothing like her,” he spat.

A ringing sounded from his pocket. He pulled his phone out and glanced at the screen before stepping away. You watched him walk to the door of your apartment and whisper into the phone urgently. You closed your eyes and pulled yourself inwards. You stopped the music and reached out to Kylo.

_ Kylo I need your help,  _ you told him.

_ Kinda busy,  _ he answered back shortly.

_ I’m in actual danger,  _ you snapped back at him. 

_ Oh no. Did your boyfriend ditch you,  _ Kylo asked, tone snarky

“Fucking asshole,” you growled outloud, pulling your mind from his. “Definitely doomed.” 

You tugged your wrists apart, trying to free yourself or at least loosen the zip cuffs, and growled in frustration when they didn’t budge. A small tap at the window caught your attention, You turned to find Kylo crouched on the fire escape.

_ Of course it would be you,  _ he growled.

_ Are you here to help or just be a dick,  _ you countered holding out your zip cuffed hands.

_ You’d be surprised to know that I'm not actually here for you _ , he said nodding over your shoulder.

“Well fuck you very much.”

Armitage finished his conversation and joined you back on the sofa, smile back in place.

“Well, Pet, it appears you weren’t fully honest with me. Phasma said Kylo is on his way here. If you don’t matter to him, why is he coming? You are very important to him,” Armitage said, reaching out to gently caress your cheek like a beloved pet.

You shrugged. Armitage slapped you, the blow stinging and sudden. 

“Answer my questions, please. As much as I would enjoy the hard way, I don’t think you would,” he said softly, the words promising violence. 

“I was waiting for the question.”

Armitage glared at you then fisted his hand in your hair, jerking your head back roughly. 

“Where is he,” Armitage growled, putting his face close to yours. 

A tinkling of breaking glass and a black cylindrical object bouncing into the room beside you stopped the retort you had prepared. Armitage looked between you and it, confused.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that's for you,” you said casually, leaning away.

Armitage reached behind his back just before the chaos; the cylinder exploded with a loud bang and a flash. For a few seconds you couldn’t see, but you stumbled off the couch toward the window behind you. Your vision came back in broken fragments while you watched Kylo step through the jagged frame and into your apartment. Kylo cast a look down at you before stepping around you to Armitage. You watched Armitage lash out at Kylo with a knife.

A set of hands appeared under your arms, dragging you over broken glass toward the window. You looked up meeting Max’s eyes, infinitely grateful it was him and not a bad guy pulling you away. His mouth moved but you couldn’t hear him over the ringing in your ears. You tapped at your ear to signal you couldn’t hear him and, your fingers came away smeared with blood. 

“Let’s get out of here,” you yelled at him, gesturing with your bound hands to the window.

Max pointed behind you. You turned to find Kylo and Armitage fighting. You watched Kylo deal several blows to Armitage that sent him stumbling backward, but Armitage parried with his knife. The speed of the fight blew your mind, you couldn’t hear but Armitage - after just a few seconds - was somehow in a condition to fight.

“Should we just leave them?” Max asked, the words sounded broken to your ears.

You shrugged, ambivalent of the fight in front of you. Max tugged you toward the window and out on the fire escape. Without a word you two started the downward trek to ground. After a minute of climbing a vibration in the metal signalled somebody coming down after you. You spotted Kylo no worse for the wear climbing down in front of him.

“Oh great,” Max groaned, making you smile. 

Once you reached the ground Max pulled you into a tight hug against his body. You hugged him back for a few seconds before pulling away to look him over.

“You okay,” you asked softly voice filled with worry. 

“I’m fine but you’re not,” Max answered smudging a finger near your ear and pulling back blood. “He isn’t about to be either.”

You felt a presence and turned to find Kylo standing close to you. Max advanced menacingly on him but you put out a hand toward Max, stopping his movements.

“Don’t start a fight. Please,” you pleaded with Max.

“Yeah, you should listen to her sport. You don’t know what you’re up against,” Kylo said snidely. 

You snorted. Maybe it was him you should have told not to start a fight. You considered shoulder checking him. 

_ Do it at your own risk _ , His voice rang in your head still snide. 

You focused on Devil in Disguise blocking him out of your head, making him glare at you. 

“Max meet Kylo,” you said waving a hand between the two men. 

“So you’re the  _ boy _ she was cuddled up with after she met me,” Kylo said, sneering. 

You rolled your eyes. Of course he has to be an asshole to everybody. Max shoved around you, fists clenched, and you tried to wedge yourself between them to stop any fighting. That close, you realized the Max was the same height as Kylo and you weren’t sure if you’d actually be able to stop the two broad men from fighting if they decided to. Kylo smirked and Max shoved him violently before dealing a devastating blow to Kylo’s face; Kylo fell to one knee, breathing heavily. 

“Max what the fuck?!” you shrieked, shoving him away from Kylo.

“He had it coming,” he growled.

You couldn’t argue with his logic; Kylo had been an asshole to you since day one, after all. You knelt on the ground beside him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Kylo shoved you away from him, teeth gritted.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” he growled.

A damp sensation on your hand pulled your eyes downward. It was red stained with blood from his shoulder.

“You’re bleeding, yet you still wanna act like an idiot,” you shouted at him. 

Max pulled you to your feet and away from Kylo. 

“If he wants to bleed to death on the street, fine,” Max spat.

“Listen to your boyfriend, you might want to get out of here before Hux unpins himself from your floor,” Kylo said, staggering to his feet.

You watched his face pale as he fought his way to his feet, your heart in your throat. You didn’t understand why the sight of his pale face moved you. You ducked under his arm, pulling it around your shoulder and pulling him a few feet; the fact that he didn’t resist bothered you more than anything. You could hear Max grumbling behind you about leaving him to bleed to death in a gutter.

“No hospitals,” Kylo groaned voice weakening. “Take me to the Continental. I have medical supplies.”

Kylo’s weight overwhelmed you then, almost sending you to the ground while you struggled to keep him upright. You groaned under his weight, slowly sinking.

“Max help,” you called.

You heard Max groan and shuffle closer, you waited for the load that was Kylo to lighten. After a few seconds when nothing changed, you called Max’s name again.

“Why should I help him? He almost got you killed,” Max hissed. “Leave him and let’s go.”

“He saved me too. We can’t just leave him to bleed out,” you argued, anger coloring the words. “Either help me or leave and don’t ever speak to me again.”

Max grumbled and pulled Kylo’s other arm around his shoulder, relieving you of most of the weight. And like that, your trio made its way to the end of the alley and to hail a cab. The first two cabs to spot you sped away before you could load up. The third cab driver didn’t spare you a glance as Max helped you load Kylo into the back, opting himself to sit in the front with the driver.

During the ride, Kylo’s slumped head rested on your shoulder, making your heart rise in your throat again.  _ It’s gotta be because he is attractive. Asshole or not, he is pretty to look at _ you reasoned internally.  _ I refuse to let this asshole have a foothold in my heart _ you thought angrily.

“Check his pockets,” Max instructed from the front of the cab, pulling you from your thoughts.

“We’re robbing people now?”

“The Continental hotel is a swanky place. We need a key card to even get to an elevator,” Max answered back with an attitude. 

“Why don’t you check his pockets? You’re a guy, you’d know where he’d keep his stuff.”

“I’m not frisking your soulmate.”

You heaved a sigh. Even when Max was in a mood, there was no getting him to do anything. You gingerly patted Kylo’s front jean pockets, ignoring the toned muscles you felt. 

“Not doing anything wrong,” you whispered. “Just trying to help.”

“You find it?”

“Yes Max, I found the key card. It was in the first place I looked. There is also a handwritten note here saying leave all my possessions to Max Kingston if I die,” you snapped back, sarcasm coating your words. 

Max didn’t answer, choosing to shrug instead. You pulled Kylo’s head down into your lap and fished in the back pocket of his jeans. A metal corner caught on your fingernail. You grasped the metal and pulled, out came a metal rectangle - the key card. The cab jerked to a stop before you could examine it further. 

Max roughly pulled Kylo out of the cab and toward the building while you used Max’s phone to pay the fare; somehow yours got lost in the shuffle. 

“Wait for me, I’ve got the key card,” you called after them. 

Max didn’t slow his pace, dragging Kylo into the building and elevator stationed right beside the door. You hurried after him, waving the keycard at the pad by the door. You and Max watched the doors close and the elevator ascend in silence. 

“Max, about earlier,” you started. 

“No you were right, we couldn’t just leave him,” Max said calmly. 

You nodded just as the elevator doors opened. You stepped out, revealing a space bigger than your entire studio apartment. Hotel room was putting it loosely, as the room seemed to take up the entire floor. Full kitchen, dining room, living room, and hallway were all visible from the door. Max gasped beside you, taken aback by the space as well. 

“Get him to one of the rooms, I’ll look for first aid,” you told Max rushing down a hallway opening doors.

The first door you opened revealed a bedroom. The very next door was a bathroom, a lavish bathroom done in white and grey marble. You skirted the tub sunken in the middle of the floor, heading toward the sink and black bag on the opposite side of the room. 

“You might wanna get in here!”

You snatched the bag and jogged back to Max at the shout. You reached the room to find Kylo on his feet, dark hair covering his face, his stance promising violence. You reached out with your mind. 

_ Kylo you’re hurt, you need to rest,  _ you told him gently.

_ Don’t trust him. Only you, _ he answered, the words slurred in his mind. 

“Max I think I got this, can you check the rest of this place?” you asked, stepping in front of Kylo and effectively blocking his view. 

Max glared between the two of you before stomping out of the room and slamming the door behind him. Kylo collapsed onto the bed with a pained grunt and you sank to your knees on the floor beside him, dropping the kit. 

_ Why don’t you trust Max? _ you asked as you rummaged through the big black bag.

Kylo grunted but didn’t reply, just laid back on the bed while you dug deeper into the bag. You pulled out surgical scissors, alcohol swabs, gauze, and a zip suture. You piled all the supplies onto the bed and climbed on, kneeling beside the large man. You gloved up and started to probe the area where you thought the wound was; no more blood leaked from anywhere, which you were infinitely thankful for. After probing for a minute, you decided the shirt had to go. 

You started at the shirt sleeve nearest to you. You cut quickly and efficiently, revealing muscular arms. You cut across his chest and down toward his belly button, further revealing his toned, muscular form. A trail of dark hair at his belly button pulled your eyes downward to where it disappeared into his pants. You cast a quick glance at his face, verifying he was indeed still passed out.

“Thank god. I’d never hear the end of it if he caught me leering at him,” you whispered to yourself. “Wait leering is bad. Just looking. Probably going crazy too.”

You quickly swabbed the slash across Kylo’s chest, making a pile of used supplies on the nightstand. You tried to keep your eyes and hands focused on the work at hand but your eyes wandered downward of their own accord several times. After making sure the wound wasn’t going to start bleeding again, you gently but firmly pressed the ZipStitch to the wound. When you pulled the zip ties and closed the wound, Kylo groaned in pain. 

“Hush you big baby,” you told him. “I’m almost done.” 

You secured the last few zip ties and climbed off the bed. 

_ Stay. _

The one word from him rang loudly in your head, surprising you both with the urgency and the the need. You looked at Kylo for signs of him being awake or even conscious of you. When he didn’t move after a few seconds, you turned toward the door.

_ Stay. Please,  _ the words rang in your head from Kylo.

The plea sounded heartfelt and desperate, even though he hadn’t spoken out loud. The words tugged at your heart stings. You hated the way you his dark chocolate voice settled over you. You hated that caring for him had nestled into a place in your heart. You wanted to hate everything about him.

You climbed into the bed, laying as far from him as humanly possible while still being on the bed. You looked over his prone form, taking in every detail of his side profile. His hair somehow still perfectly wavy, his nose strong and prominent, the little freckles and moles on his neck; you committed each of these details to memory before you closed your eyes. His face drifted behind your closed eyes.

Sounds from the other room startled you awake. It sounded like somebody had left the tv on and Netflix just autoplayed everything. You climbed off the bed, noticing that Kylo wasn’t there and the mess from patching him up was gone. You walked to the door, not trying to be overly quiet but the carpeting muffled your footsteps nevertheless. Max’s voice caught your attention and you paused at the door to listen.

“I mean it, stay away from her,” Max shouted at Kylo.

Kylo answered back but you couldn’t make out his words.

“Like hell it isn’t my decision. Just because you have money doesn’t mean she belongs to you,” Max yelled again, stomping away.

“She belongs to herself,” Kylo called out.

Max didn’t answer as he blew past the slightly open door you stood behind. You watched him go, wondering what you had just missed. 

_ Your boyfriend just threatened my entire family line if I didn’t say away from you,  _ Kylo answered.

_ Can’t you keep out of my head?  _ you asked, ignoring his statement to contemplate later.

_ Where’s the fun in that? _

You groaned out loud, of course he’d tease you.

_ Since we are having fun, wanna explain why I got kidnapped? _

_ That is a long story and a lot less fun,  _ he answered back sourly.

You pondered his words as you focused on music again, blocking him from your mind. His audible groan brought a smile to your face. 

“You could pick better music ya know,” he yelled from the other room.

“Where’s the fun in that?” you called back.

  
  



	5. Out of Character

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A door slamming signalled Max’s exit from the other bedroom off the hallway. You turned, a smile on your face as you waited for him to emerge, happy your friend hadn’t just abandoned you. He emerged from the short hallway, a frown on his face and disapproval radiating off of him. Your smile faltered; you weren’t certain of his mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: EXTREME VIOLENCE   
> DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT
> 
> This was Beta'd by the amazing interestingpumpkin and thinkwritexpress they can be found here on AO3.  
> Ok they are honestly amazing and I'm lucky to have them as my friends.
> 
> You probably saw whats coming from a mile away. If you did drop me a comment after you read.

“I’ll go talk to him and when I get back, you can explain exactly why your friend Armitage wanted to kidnap me.”

“Hux is no friend of mine, or yours for that matter,” Kylo growled.

You stepped back at the violence in his tone. You’d watched him fight, but standing here in the kitchen you forgot for a moment.  _ The man in front of you is lethal.  _ The elevator dinged, reminding you of Max. You turned, prepared to rush after him, but the doors had already closed. You looked at Kylo in desperation.

“Stairs are behind the plant,” he said, pointing at a large plant near the elevator. “Stop the music so I can make sure you’re okay. He doesn’t seem quite happy with either of us.”

“Maybe if you hadn’t been a dick,” You snapped back, rushing toward the plant.

You rushed out of the suite and down the stairs, hoping to catch Max before he made too far.  _ Shit I never should have asked Max to help with Kylo.  _ You reached the lobby - legs and lungs burning - just as Max stepped out of the elevator.

“MAX,” you screamed across the lobby, gaining everybody’s attention.

Max didn’t spare you a glance, choosing to walk out of the door instead. You charged after him, hoping he didn’t get a cab before you got to him. You step out the doors and onto the sidewalk, then look around, not seeing him.

_ “Shit.” _

You walked down the street a little, hoping to see him, stopping in front of an alley.

You took a steadying breath and walked out from behind the bedroom door. Kylo looked up at you from the kitchen and you abruptly changed course, heading to the bathroom instead, and dodged in, shutting the door. You took another steadying breath and walked to the mirror, skirting the massive bathtub.

“You look like shit,” you told your reflection.

You wet a washcloth and dabbed at the blood flaking from your hand and around your ears. Realising it was superficial, you scrubbed it off, leaving a clean patch on your skin. You rinsed the wash cloth and scrubbed your face clean, leaving your skin feeling slightly raw but less gritty overall. A knock sounded at the door behind you.

“Food is ready, if you’re into that sort of thing,” Kylo called to you.

“Food would be nice,” you called back.

A few minutes later, you emerged from the room ready to conquer the world, or at least breakfast. You watched Kylo bustle around the kitchen as you walked closer, lost in his work and completely in his element. You climbed up onto the counter just as he realized you were in the room.

“Ass off my countertops,” he told you firmly, passing you a plate. 

You ignored him in favor of examining the plate of sausage links, french toast and strawberries; the sight made your mouth water. Kylo offered you a fork, pulling it back just before you could reach it.

“I said ass off the counter.”

“If you don’t give me that fork I’ll just eat with my hands,” you threatened, eyes narrowed.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

You selected a sausage link and bit off the end while Kylo glared at you. You chewed deliberately and thoughtfully, enjoying the mix of flavors the flooded you senses.

“Oh wow, this is pretty good,” you complimented as you took another bite. 

“Are you sure,” Kylo asked watching you chew curiously. 

You nodded, mouth still full. Just as you swallowed, Kylo snagged your wrist and and pulled your hand to his mouth, taking the rest of the sausage between his teeth. Your heart fluttered as his teeth grazed your fingertips. He passed you the fork held in the opposite hand before turning back to the food on the stove.

“Close your mouth and eat your food,” Kylo told you over his shoulder.

You snapped your mouth shut but didn’t make an effort to eat.  __ Your mind raced to find a reason for what just happened, but all you could come up with was _ what the hell.  _ You were pulled out of your thoughts by Kylo humming as he bustled around the kitchen. When you figured out what he was humming you laughed out loud and he turned to you, confused.

“What?”

“You’re humming ‘Devil in Disguise,’” you told him, not bothering to contain your laughter.

You laughed until tears rolled down your cheeks. 

“It’s not my fault you insist on endlessly playing that stupid song in my head. Why that song anyway?” he asked, voice close to a whine.

You choked at his question. You never thought you’d have to explain your reasoning to him. You cleared your throat while you tried to work out a reason that was least damaging to you.

“Spur of the moment,” you answered, shoving a strawberry into your mouth, hoping to distract him from this line of questioning.

He turned to you and plucked a strawberry off your plate then bit into the fruit and chewed thoughtfully while you watched his mouth, plush lips stained slightly red. 

“Something had to inspire that particular song though,” he said tapping the remaining half of the fruit to his lips.

Your heart stuttered while he tapped his lips with the red fruit.

“Looks like an angel, walks like an angel,” Kylo said, a smile growing on his face.

“Yeah but I got wise,” you countered, jabbing at your plate at random.

You had hoped it would take time for him to come to that conclusion.  _ Yes he is an attractive asshole.  _ Kylo laughed, shocking you - you’d expected anger, or at least annoyance, but you were puzzled by  _ laughter _ . 

A door slamming signalled Max’s exit from the other bedroom off the hallway. You turned, a smile on your face as you waited for him to emerge, happy your friend hadn’t just abandoned you. He emerged from the short hallway, a frown on his face and disapproval radiating off of him. Your smile faltered; you weren’t certain of his mood.

“Kylo made food,” you called toward him.

“I’m not hungry,” Max answered, tone sour. The smile slid off your face.

“Don’t be a dick, just come eat,” Kylo called from near the stove.

“You can fuck right off,” Max spat.

You watched as Max made for the elevator, angrily jabbing the call button. You slid off the counter and plopped down your plate.

“SHIT!”

A hand clamped over your mouth suddenly, yanking you down the alley. You struggled against the hand, teeth biting down on their fingers. Max cursed and uncovered your mouth, shoving you away and into the brick wall behind you. Your head bounced off, setting your ears ringing again and sending you to the ground.

“You didn’t have to fucking bite me,” Max hissed angrily.

You shook your head, trying to form words, but everything was fuzzy around the edges. Max knelt in front of you, grasping your chin in a bruising grip.

“You couldn’t just stay away from him. You couldn’t just love me instead. I love you, Y/N, don’t you understand?” Max said sadly, the tight grip on your chin not matching the emotion in his words.

You shook your head, trying to shake his hand off of your face, but he only gripped tighter, his frown deepening. He pulled you to your feet and back out onto the sidewalk where he hailed a cab. He loaded you in, giving the driver the address, and you tried to shake some of the dizziness off. You ignored the words he was whispering while you tried to reach out to Kylo. You heard Kylo’s voice raging in your head but couldn’t make out the words.

“Here we are, now let’s get you laid down,” Max said sweetly, tapping his phone to pay for the trip.

“You two are a cute couple,” the cab driver called out before Max shut the car door.

“She  _ is _ my SoulMate,” he answered with a smile, draping his arm over you and shutting the door.

He walked you down the street, waving at various people before reaching his paper shop. He unlocked the door and pulled you in, shutting and locking the door behind him. He let your shoulders go and gripped your hand, pulling you through the empty shop and behind the counter, into the back room. He shouldered the open door and gestured you in. You looked at the confined space containing a small cot and desk. When you didn’t move he pulled you in and sat you on the small cot. He sat in the desk chair across from you, his smile feral.

“I’m going to remove your soulmate mark and unbind you from him,” Max declared like it was the most reasonable thing in the world.

“What?” you asked, certain you misheard.

“I’m gonna unbind you from him,” he repeated, grasping your hands. “I have everything I need here.”

You jerked your hands back; his touch suddenly made your stomach lurch. His face hardened and he leaned close to slap your face. Your head snapped to the left and your cheek stung. You reached up to touch the spot, glaring at him.

“I’m leaving because obviously you’ve lost all mental control,” you told him standing up.

He stood with you. blocking your way out the door, then reached out to caress your face, making you step back from him in disgust.

“If you touch me again I’ll pull your balls out through your esophagus.”

Max stepped aside, letting you pass, and you cautiously watched him from the corner of your eyes, knowing he wasn’t right in the head. You put your hand on the doorway, peeking around the corner to make sure nobody had blundered in to witness the attempted destruction of your soul. Max grasped the door handle looking both disarming and slightly deranged. You cast one more glance down the hallway, and then Max moved suddenly, gripping your wrist and holding you in place while he slammed the heavy door on your hand repeatedly. The pain was blinding as he slammed the door over and over and over. Seconds or minutes had passed before he finally stopped. Blood ran down the door frame from your mangled hand and you sank to the floor, clutching your destroyed and bloody hand to your chest.

“You’ll never write with his handwriting again,” he told you, proud of the deed. “If you hadn’t tried to resist, I wouldn’t have needed to do that.”

“You’re fucking  _ psychotic _ ,” you hissed, teeth gritted against the pain.

You opened your mind to Kylo.

_ Help. Max has lost his mind,  _ you forced out. 

You waited a moment for a response, repeating the message when none was forthcoming.

“Let’s get you in the chair,” Max said gently holding out a hand to you.

You flinched away from him, sending pain shooting through your hand. Tears streamed down your face as he hoisted you to your feet and deposited you almost gently into the chair, then brushed the tears from your face and leaned his forehead against yours.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart. I’m going to unshackle you from him,” Max whispered sweetly. “"You know that we were meant to be, right? That your soul and mine are intertwined. There's no mistake. I'm yours.”

He placed a soft kiss on your lips, whispering against them, “And you’re mine.” 


	6. Chains and Tattoos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally the pain stopped, so abruptly and suddenly you sagged with relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was Beta'd by the amazing interestingpumpkin and thinkwritexpress they can be found here on AO3. Amazing as always.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter is dark. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT. IF YOU DO READ THIS AFTER THE WARNING AND IT OFFENDS YOU....WELL YOU WERE WARNED. DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!

Max retrieved a first aid kit and zipties from the desk behind you while you cradled your injured hand to your chest. Max gripped your hands, pulling them away from your chest as you let out a sharp cry. He ziptied one hand to the chair before opening the first aid kit beside him to take care of you. He gently dabbed an disinfectant swab along your hand, tsking at the bruising, then unrolled gauze and started gently wrapping your hand, almost like he hadn’t been the one to crush it in the first place.

“I had to do it. I can’t let you keep writing with his handwriting,” Max told you while he wrapped gauze over the injury.

“I’m ambidextrous, stupid,” you growled at him, pain coloring your words.

Max paused in his ministrations. He started to squeeze your hand, anger coloring his face, you bit the inside of your cheek until you tasted copper refusing to cry out. He jerked your hand suddenly and you cried out high and loud, the pain in your hand blinding. He slapped your face again, cutting off your shriek of pain.

“That’s unnecessary. When you’re bound to me, your handwriting will be mine,” he stated, as though it fully settled matters.

You closed your eyes against the pain and the tears rolling down your cheeks. He brushed a tear from your cheek and looked at it strangely before wiping it off on his pants. 

“I’ll be back in a minute. I just need to get everything ready to unbind you from him.”

You didn’t answer him. Bile rose in your throat to stop any words you had for him. You watched him leave, then cast your mind out to Kylo again; you find him this time, reaching him easily.

_ I need your help _ , you told him. The reply came back dizzying and broken:

_ I can’t help now. _

_ Kylo please, Max has lost his mind _ , you pleaded with him.

_ I am in jail _ , came his reply.  _ I can’t help you until my lawyer gets here. If you had a fight with him, just figure it out, okay. _

_ I think he broke my hand. _

You felt anger radiate off of Kylo in strong waves that surprised you.

_ Where are you? _

_ The back of the paper shop, _ you answered just as Max returned, carrying a light brown bag with rust-colored stains on the bottom.

He placed the bag gently on the floor beside your feet.

“You know, my original SoulMate Sylvia was a horrible woman. She was a gold digger. Rude and cruel. She didn’t understand what a nice guy I am.” Max knelt beside the bag. “That's how I knew I needed to break our bond. I met you just afterwards and knew, just  _ knew, _ that you saw me. You see what a nice person I am. You  _ understand  _ me.”

Max pulled a medium-sized white cloth from the bag. On it, he laid a silver knife, a silver bowl, a bottle of tattoo ink, and an unassembled tattoo gun.

_ For the love of God Kylo come and get me,  _ you shouted in your head.

“The day after I met you, I broke my bond with Sylvia. I went to her house and told her. She screamed at me,” Max assembled the tattoo gun. “Can you believe it? That bitch  _ screamed _ at me. She told me I fractured her soul and mine.”

Max put down the tattoo gun thoughtfully.

“It’s possible, but my book didn’t say soul fracturing was a possibility.”

You focused on what he was saying.  _ Soul fracturing? What the hell is he doing? _

“I’m sorry, this is going to hurt, sweetheart, but I need blood,” Max said sweetly, picking up the silver knife and bowl.

He pressed the knife gently against the skin of your wrist.

“You don’t have to do this,” you told him. “I’ll stay with you forever. I’ll never go near Kylo again. I love you Max.”

“You do?”

“I do. Kylo isn’t worth my time. He is beneath me. There is only us,” you told him, hoping he believed the lies you told him.

He sighed, his grip on the knife loosening he looked at your face, searching. What he found seemed to convince him, because he leaned forward and kissed you gently.

“I’m so glad you feel that way,” he whispered against your mouth. “So you’ll understand why I still have to do this. Why I can’t let you stay bound to him.”

Max drew the knife across your wrist, quickly and efficiently, the blade biting but otherwise painless. You looked down as blood ran in rivers from your wrist into the bowl he held under it. His face didn’t change, still showing the happy glow of being told you loved him. The look was disturbing and shook you right to your soul. After he had what he needed, he bandaged you up, staunching the flow of blood.

“Now me.”

You watched as Max drew the silver blade swiftly over his wrist, dripping his own blood into the bowl as well.

_ Kylo come get me. Max is wacked out of his gourd,  _ you pleaded with Kylo in your head.

“Max, what did you do to Kylo?”

“I called the police. Told him he was a dangerous criminal that he had guns and bombs and that he was planning to blow the building,” Max answered, tearing his eyes from the bowl. “Why do you care?”

You shrugged and Max frowned briefly before resuming his work. He dumped the bottle of tattoo ink in the bowl, mixing it with the blood, then leaned close and recited words. You strained to hear them, horror settling in your stomach as you listened:

_ From the undeserved I severe _

_ From the undesirable I unbind _

_ From him to me our souls entwine _

_ With blood and ink _

_ I reforge the divine _

_ I bind me to you _

_ I bind you to me _

_ Our hearts to entwine for eternity _

_ A kiss to seal our eternal pact _

A change in the air had you shifting in the chair as far from Max as you could possibly go; you didn’t want that concoction anywhere near you. You briefly entertained the idea of kicking over the bowl, but as if hearing your thoughts, Max snatched it out of your reach. He dipped the tattoo machine into the ink-blood mixture and started it up, then with surprising speed tattooed three symbols onto his arm: A square with lines coming out of each of the sides, an upside down triangle with a line through the bottom and a dot, and the female symbol. He wiped the excess blood drops around the area with gauze before showing you his arm.

“The alchemical symbols for ink, blood, and Venus, the Roman goddess of love,” he explained, pointing at each shape in turn.

He reached to you, turning your zip-tied hand over and exposing your soulmate mark. He traced it gently, making you shiver with revulsion.

“The writing on your skin is beautiful,” Max whispered. “But it’s got to go. I’ll replace it with my mark. Our marks.”

Max stroked the lettering again before picking up the tattoo gun from where he’d laid it across the bowl. He inked the tattoo needles and started the machine.

_ Kylo please come get me,  _ you screamed in your head as you watched the whirling machine descend toward the words on your arm.

_ I’m coming,  _ came the reply.

Max drew the first line of the symbol for blood and a burning pain seared through your body. You had tattoos, and you knew it should  _ not  _ feel like this. The next line drew a scream from you as blinding pain coursed through you. Kylo’s voice whispered in your head while Max talked to you encouragingly. You couldn’t focus on the words of either, too shrouded in the pain radiating from your arm. You felt like your soul was being ripped from your living body. Your vision narrowed to a spot on your arm as you tried to breath past the pain. 

Finally the pain stopped, so abruptly and suddenly you sagged with relief. Max wiped the marks on your arm, sending a small stinging through your arm but thankfully not to the same degree as before.

_ Now a kiss to finish, _ Max’s voice rang in your head.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” you growled through gritted teeth.

_ Why didn’t it work,  _ Max wondered, confused.

_ It worked alright you psycho,  _ you answered back.

_ You’re my Soulmate,  _ Max said awe dripping from his words. 

_ Not by choice,  _ you answered back angrily.

“Would you rather have Kylo? Hm? The man you know  _ nothing  _ about? The man who subjected you to listening to him  _ fuck _ another girl?  _ That’s _ what you want?!” he asked, his voice getting increasingly hysterical.

He grabbed your chin roughly and pulled your face toward his. 

“You’re  _ mine _ .” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you did read all the way to the end thank you :)


	7. Truth or Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He stood and walked around you to the desk, rummaging around for a second before appearing in front of you again, scissors in hand. He made quick work of the ziptie and you stood quickly, crashing into him. He caught you and held you in his arms while you sagged against him in relief, his grasp loose for a minute before he shifted his grip to your good hand and pulled you out of the office. You took a few steps before the world shifted and went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was Beta'd by the amazing interestingpumpkin and thinkwritexpress they can be found here on AO3.
> 
> Thanks guys you're the best.
> 
> The moment you've been waiting for!!!!

You watched in horror as Max’s mouth came closer to yours. You tried to turn your head but his grip on your chin kept you firmly in place. You struggled against the ziptie holding you to the chair, fought until his mouth was a hair's breadth away. You looked skyward, refusing to watch his face descend on yours. Your skyward gaze found deep hazel eyes staring back at you. You relaxed in Max’s grip, causing him to stop mid-motion, confused.

“You have a visitor,” you told him, nodding over his shoulder.

He dropped your chin and turned just as Kylo cocked back his fist to strike him. The blow met Max’s face with a sickening crunch and threw him onto your lap, onto your ruined hand. You shrieked in pain and bucked under him, trying to free your body from under him. Max hit the floor with a thud and Kylo lashed out with a well-placed kick to the gut. You couldn’t hear his voice in your head anymore, but you could read the expression of fury on Kylo’s face as he kicked Max repeatedly.

_ Don’t let him do this to me,  _ Max pleaded in your head.

“Why should I stop him?”

_ Because I love you. Because we belong together,  _ he answered.

“You’re a sick bastard,” you snarled at him.

_ I wish you were dead,  _ you spat.

Max looked at you just as Kylo delivered a final devastating blow to his face, silencing Max’s thoughts in your head. Kylo dropped his hand and stood dazed for just a moment before shaking himself and looking at you.

“You okay?” he asked, voice rough.

“I am so far from okay,” you answered, gesturing with your ziptied hand.

Kylo kicked Max’s body out of the way before kneeling to look at the ziptie. 

“Need to cut this.”

Kylo spotted the silver knife on the floor and grabbed it, bringing it to your wrist, but you flinched away from the blade.

“Hold still or I’ll hurt you,” he huffed.

“Not that. Please,” you pleaded. “Scissors in the desk drawer.”

Kylo dropped the knife with a metallic clatter, making you flinch again.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

He stood and walked around you to the desk, rummaging around for a second before appearing in front of you again, scissors in hand. He made quick work of the ziptie and you stood quickly, crashing into him. He caught you and held you in his arms while you sagged against him in relief, his grasp loose for a minute before he shifted his grip to your good hand and pulled you out of the office. You took a few steps before the world shifted and went dark.

  
  


Words floated to you, words you couldn’t understand at first and a voice you vaguely knew. 

“ _ You look like an angel, you walk like an angel, talk like an angel, but I got wise,”  _ Kylo sang softly under his breath. 

You laughed and opened your eyes as Kylo’s worried face came into view. 

“You scared the hell outta me Y/N,” Kylo scolded you. 

His scolding made you laugh harder.

“Why are you laughing?”

“You’re like a mother hen fussing over me,” you said.

“Nobody has ever called me mother before,” he said in a tone that sounded strangely like a pout.

The tone set off your laughter again. You laughed until tears streamed down your face, until you couldn’t breathe. 

“Where am I,” you asked after you caught your breath.

Kylo sat on the bed beside you, taking your hand gently in his.

“You’re in the hospital,” he said grimly. “Max. He, well… he broke your hand and you needed stitches in your wrist and in a few different parts of your hand.”

You glanced to your side then, suddenly conscious of the fact you couldn’t really feel your hand or arm. You lifted your arm and found a neon pink cast enveloping your hand all the way to your elbow. You opened your mouth to say something when a doctor bustled into the room, breaking off whatever your thought was.

“I’m Doctor Sylvia Everhart. Now that you’re awake, I’d like to ask you a few questions,” she said politely but firmly. 

You looked over the woman in front of you. She is model beautiful, somebody you’d expect to be working a runway not in a hospital. Her red hair was caught in a tight bun at the base of her neck and pale skin said she was of Irish descent. She sat her clipboard at the end of the bed and started her questioning.

“Do you know this man?” she asked, gesturing to Kylo.

“Yes.”

“Do you feel safe at home and at work?”

“Not anymore.”

“Can you tell me who did this to you?”

“Max Moreau.”

At the name Sylvia paled and staggered away from you, stumbling backward until her back hit the closed door.

“Max sent you here, didn’t he? I’m calling the police,” Sylvia said, voice raised but not quite yelling, “Tell him to stay the hell away from me!”

“Didn’t you hear her? She said Max  _ did _ this to her,” Kylo said from beside you.

“Max  _ did  _ this to you? He didn’t send you?”

You nodded and Sylvia walked toward the bed cautiously, still out of reach but close enough to talk. You tried to look non threatening, hoping she would relax. Kylo sat on the edge of the bed and pulled your hand into one of his larger one swallowing your fingers.

“How do you know Max?” Sylvia asked after taking a deep breath.

“According to Max I met him shortly after his original Soulmate rejected him,” you said.

“After I rejected him,” Sylvia asked with a bitter laugh. “I only rejected him because he is fucking insane.”

“He was my friend. We hung out, he sold me work supplies, everything. And then I met my soulmate,” you said. 

Kylo gave your hand a gentle squeeze and you started to recount your story to Sylvia. You left nothing out, giving all the details. After telling her about slamming your hand in the door, Syliva collapsed on the end of the bed looking green, but by the time you finished your story ending with waking up in a hospital bed she had composed herself. 

“I met Max at a party. He seemed like a fun guy, making jokes and making everybody laugh. We even exchanged numbers. I just wanted to be friends though, because I had a boyfriend,” Sylvia said, voice small. “A few hours later the mark appeared. A beautiful Soulmate mark.”

Sylvia rolled up her sleeve to show a beautiful shattered rose tattooed on her arm bisected by a nasty raised scar. After a few seconds she rolled her sleeve back down, hiding the tattoo with its unseemly scar.

“I dumped my boyfriend and started a relationship with Max; it seemed like the thing to do. I mean, he was my soulmate after all. But when I moved in with him, things changed.”

She stood and started pacing while the story seemed to fall from her like a weight she could finally shrug off. You didn’t interrupt, knowing if you did you’d never hear the end of the story.  _ Her _ story.

“Max got obsessive. He’d call and text and email constantly. He wanted my phone records and for me to send him my location at certain times, and God help me if I forgot. He never hit me, but he’d berate me and bemoan how he ended up with such a shitty soulmate. In front of my friends though, he was a nice guy. Always a nice guy. Pulling out chairs, paying compliments, paying for rounds of drinks, always ready and able to help. But me, I got to see the dark side.”

Sylvia took her seat at the end of the bed.

“I broke up with him. After 8 months of his gaslighting and insane demands. He said I was doing it because I was more concerned about money and I was cheating on him. He told me I was gonna regret breaking up with him,” she said while she absently rubbed her arm. “Then it happened roughly 2 weeks later, a searing pain like my soul was being cleaved from my body. When I recovered, my soulmate mark was scarred. I went to see Max to see if he was alright and that's when he told me what he had done. He had broken our bond. He gloated about it. I told him he’d ruined my life and broke my soul but he didn’t care. That was the last time I spoke to him.”

Sylvia finished her story and sagged with relief. You pulled your hand from Kylo’s and offered it to her, a gesture of solidarity, of connection and gratitude. She squeezed your hand gently, and while you watched she pulled herself together her professional attitude firmly back in place.

“Do you think he is going to come back or attempt to hurt you again,” Sylvia asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t think he knows we are here.”

Almost as if talking about him conjured him, his voice rang out in your head leaving you feeling grimey. 

_ Tell me where you are so I can finish the ritual and we can be together,  _ he pleaded voice sweet.

_ Fuck off, _ you answered back venomously.

_ You’re hurt. I can help you,  _ he said, his voice still sweet.

You cleared your mind and focused on your favorite German metal song. hoping to keep him out of your head, and after a few seconds you were able to relax. 

“Where’d you go,” Kylo asked, concerned.

“I hear Max in my head.”

“Does that mean he knows where we are? Does that mean we aren’t soulmates anymore?”

“I don’t know.”

“What about that tattoo he put on you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t fucking know Kylo, there is a lot going on,” you snapped at him, instantly regretting it.

His face shut down and he stood abruptly, leaving the room; you cursed yourself as you watched him go. It wasn’t his fault this had happened; the blame was squarely on Max and his obsession.

“I should go. If you need anything, just hit the call button,” Sylvia said before leaving the room too.

You pulled your knees to your chest thoughts raging through you. 

_ I didn’t mean to snap at Kylo, it just sort of happened. And it’ll keep happening unless I go back to Max, he loves me, him breaking my hand was a terrible mistake. _

You shook your head, knowing that last thought wasn’t yours.

_ How can you be sure? _

You shook your head again trying to clear your thoughts. You needed to leave this hospital, it was making you crazy.

_ I know where you are now,  _ Max’s voice came breaking the wall of music.

_ How the hell did you do that,  _ You demanded.

_ I taught you that trick sweetheart, do you really think something like that would stop me? _

You started to panic. Max was in your head and you didn’t know how to keep him out. You started to climb off the bed and Kylo burst into the room.

“Are you okay,” he asked breathless.

“We need to leave, he is coming,” you told him, tears pricking your eyes.

He pulled you into his arms and held you tight to him.

_ I won’t let him hurt you again,  _ His words whispered through your head so soft you almost missed them.

“What did you just say?”

“I didn’t say anything,” he answered in confusion.

You couldn’t say anything before Sylvia burst into the room.

“He’s here. How did he know you were here?”

A commotion from the hallway had your head snapping toward the door. You could hear Max as he berated someone for not telling him where you are.

_ Where are you little bird,  _ he asked, voice dark.

“We need to leave now,” Kylo said.

Sylvia tossed a bottle of pills at you, Kylo caught it before it reached you and she walked to the door.

“For pain. I’ll distract him you get out of here,” She said, leaving the room and closing the door with a snick.

You looked down at your hospital gown and Kylo shrugged off his leather jacket, placing it around your shoulders. He grasped your hand in his and pulled you out the door while you listened to Sylvia yell at Max. A voice you recognised breaking into the argument but before you could place it, Kylo pulled you into a stairwell.

“My brother is coming to pick us up, he'll be here soon,” Kylo told you, pulling you down the stairs at a punishing pace.

“You have a brother?”   
  


“He’s adopted.”

You nodded but didn’t speak again. Kylo pulled you out of a door and onto a curb where an orange Dodge Challenger with white stripes screeched to a halt. A dark-haired man leaned across the passenger seat and shoved the door open. Kylo reached in and pushed the seat forward, ushering you into the backseat. You climbed in and the man let out a low whistle.

“Poe Dameron, and you are,” he asked, extending a hand into the backseat while Kylo climbed in the front seat.

“Y/N,” you replied, taking his hand and shaking it. 

“You are entirely too cute for my brother,” He told you, flashing you a wink.

“Stop it,” Kylo growled.

You laughed and leaned in back in the seat as Poe peeled out. 

“You’re spending the night at my place tonight then going up to the cabin right?” Poe asked.

Kylo nodded. You leaned back in the seat and thought quietly. Maybe a few days away from everything would be enough to get your life settled down and this mark from Max off your arm. You rolled up your sleeve and looked at it. It wasn’t very old, but the marks looked like they had aged years. You closed your eyes and a tear slid down your cheek.

“Everything is gonna be okay, I promise,” Kylo told you.

You settled further into your seat and let the motion of the car lull you to sleep. 

_ Things will be better when I wake up. _

  
_ I’ll look after you, I promise,  _ Kylo’s voice whispered through your head.


	8. Turn of Events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe looked between you and Kylo but didn’t say anything, choosing to dig in the ancient refrigerator. Wordlessly Kylo walked to you and offered you a hand to help climb onto the island, and once you were up, you readjusted your hospital gown and his jacket so you were at least mostly covered. Kylo turned away from you to take stock of what Poe had pulled out, and their quiet argument over the state of vegetables made you smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was Beta'd by the amazing interestingpumpkin and thinkwritexpress they can be found here on AO3. I'm not gonna break up the band.
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING** This chapter is a bit dark as well, it contains some self harm so same as usual Dead Dove Do Not Eat. I will mark the worst of it off with a set of lines so you can still read if you so choose but without the self harm.

The car shifting to a different type of road woke you up with a jolt. You looked around but all you could see were trees on either side of the car.

“You didn’t have to drive me to the middle of nowhere to murder me and hide the body,” you joked.

Kylo didn’t answer.

“Murdering you is not on the list of things to do out here, sweetheart,” Poe joked, never taking his eyes off the road.

You rolled your eyes, ignoring the comment. 

_I think you are the most amazing girl on the planet,_ Max said inside your head.

You ignored him. He had become the voice of evil in your head, continuously chatting like you were still friends and he hadn't tormented you. You hoped it didn’t last long, as his voice in your head made you feel like a layer of grime was attached to you.

“Welcome to casa de Poe,” Poe said as the car reached a break in the trees.

Your eyes landed on a magnificent house built with blue stones and blue stone decorations. Small half windows gave the house a more homey feeling. Two large chimneys sat at each end of the house making the grey tiled roof seem more friendly.

“It's gorgeous,” you said, leaning across the front seats to get a better look while he drove closer.

Poe pulled the car to a stop and exited, offering you a hand out. You took it and let him pull you out. You were in awe of the house called home.

“Shut your mouth,” Kylo said from behind you.

You snapped your mouth shut, though you were tempted to stick your tongue out at him; Poe draped his arm around you and flashed a million watt smile.

“I can give you the grand tour. How about we start in my room and work from there,” he said smirking suggestively.

“Stop it,” Kylo growled at his brother, frowning severely.

Poe dropped his arm and put some space between the two of you while you laughed at his antics. You weren’t sure if he was doing it to bother Kylo or if he really wanted you to join him for a tour of the house, but your stomach growled loudly, pulling you out of the traitorous thoughts you were having.

“Tour of the kitchen it is,” Poe said with a chuckle.

You followed Kylo and Poe into the house, expecting dark wood paneling and bear skin rugs, but the parlor and dining room that you walked through were all painted warm, friendly colors. You walked into the kitchen, somewhat surprised at the old fashioned-ness of it. You’d expected sleek silver appliances and marble counter tops, but instead were treated to a rather rustic kitchen with a large but aging refrigerator, a butcher’s block island, and counter tops made out of similar wood.

“Are you cooking, or am I?” Poe asked, leaning a hip against the stove. “I’ll never pass up the chance to impress the ladies.”

“Yeah, impress the ladies with how bad your cooking is,” Kylo said.

“Okay my cooking isn’t the best, but not everybody can be a master chef like you,” Poe shot back with a grin. “What about you, sweetheart, can you whip up a delicious feast?”

You shrugged. “I dabble.”

You looked at the high counter top, wondering how you were gonna get up there with one hand.

“What is with you and countertops?”

You turned to find Kylo looking at you with an odd look on his face, a cross between humor and annoyance.

“I have a prime view of what’s going on. I don’t wanna miss anything,” you answered with a half shrug.

Poe looked between you and Kylo but didn’t say anything, choosing to dig in the ancient refrigerator. Wordlessly Kylo walked to you and offered you a hand to help climb onto the island, and once you were up, you readjusted your hospital gown and his jacket so you were at least mostly covered. Kylo turned away from you to take stock of what Poe had pulled out, and their quiet argument over the state of vegetables made you smile. 

_Little bird, I’ll be with you shortly,_ Max said in your head.

You shuddered.

_You can’t get to me. I don’t even know where I am_ , you shot back.

_I can feel you in my head little bird, shining like a beacon. The closer I get, the brighter you shine._

The words made you shudder; he could sense you. 

_He can find me anywhere._

_I can. And once I find you we can be together,_ he told you, his voice sickeningly sweet.

_I never should have left her alone with him. I’m surprised she even wants to be around me_ , Kylo’s voice drifted through your head. _She’ll never forgive me._

You startled at Kylo’s voice in your head. It was barely a whisper, but it was definitely there.

_Nice to know Max hasn’t broken me permanently._

“You’re not broken, just a little scuffed up is all,” Kylo told you.

Your mouth dropped open. 

_He can hear me too!_

“Of course I can hear you.”

“I haven’t spoken out loud,” you said.

He turned and looked at you in disbelief. Poe looked between the two of you and hastily exited the kitchen.

“I think I’ll order pizza. You know where your room is Kylo,” he called from the other room.

Kylo grabbed your hand and pulled you off the counter, dragging you quickly down a long series of hallways. After a few minutes he opened a door and pulled you into the room after him, shutting the door with a _snick_. You looked around at the room done in shades of white and cream, the complete opposite of what you expected. A large, high bed sat in the middle of the room and you walked toward it partly to get a better look at the room partly to get away from Kylo. 

_He’s only ever worn dark colors around me, so why would I expect different from his room?_

“I do wear other colors,” Kylo said. “Why can I hear you in my head? You said Max broke our bond. I _felt_ him break our bond.”

“What does it matter to you anyway? You think I’m useless,” you answered back harshly.

Kylo’s face fell and for an instant you felt bad, but he’d said it himself. He’d been heartless and hurtful and now he wanted to make up and be proper soulmates?

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Kylo said.

“Then how did you mean it? 'Can’t fight, can’t shoot, a liability, what can I bring to your life.' That's what you said, isn’t it?”

You turned your back on him to hide the tears pricking at your eyes. You felt him step behind just as Max’s voice made itself known again.

_Oh little bird, don’t cry, I’ll be there for you shortly,_ Max told you.

_Stay the fuck away from me, Max,_ you replied firmly.

_I am sorry,_ Kylo told you his voice in your head louder than before.

You didn’t think, just turned again and kissed him quickly, just a peck. He didn’t say anything for a long second and your heart fell while you waited for a response. You stepped around him, not wanting him to see the look on your face, the pure heartbreak and aching loneliness you felt in that instant that made you overstep.

_I definitely overstepped._

You headed for the door when Kylo’s hand snaked out and grasped your wrist; His grip stopped you from leaving the room. You tugged out of his grip, wanting to escape the awkwardness you’d caused when the door opened, revealing Poe holding a pile of clothes. He froze, looking between the two of you.

“You look busy, I’ll-uh come back later,” Poe said reaching in for the door handle.

“Not busy,” you told him, trying to sound chipper. 

“I bought you some sweats, can't have you walking around in just a hospital gown, people might get ideas,” Poe told you, thrusting the clothes to you. 

“Are you people?”

“You know it, sweetheart,” Poe said with a jaunty wink.

You smiled at him, your heart lifting a little bit. Maybe flirting with Poe wouldn’t be so bad, just a little fun. You looked over your shoulder at Kylo who was frowning between you and Poe and you felt a zing through you. 

“Can I have the room?” you asked, brandishing the clothes Poe handed you with one hand.

Kylo walked around you to Poe’s side. 

“If you need help, yell,” he told you softly.

“I won’t,” you answered, closing the door in his face. 

* * *

You tossed the pile of clothes on the bed and sighed. Why had things gone so badly? You shrugged off Kylo’s black jacket, suddenly keen to get away from it, away from him, to just leave everything. You looked at the marks Max had tattooed over your Soulmate mark with Kylo and you felt bile rise in your throat. The marks were aging rapidly, badly puckering and splitting like an infection trying to be forced out. You ran a finger over them, feeling a small zap of pain go through you. You did it again, relishing the pain it caused; you deserve the pain. You pressed the finger into it as hard as you could with the cast impeding your movements, pressed until the skin gave way and started to bleed. The tattoo bled, black and red in streaks dripping down your arm. You silently watched it bleed, watched your soul bleed out through the marks on your arm, your damaged ruined soul.

A drop of water hit your arm, smearing the blood and ink on your arm, making it spread faster. You looked at the ceiling, expecting there to be a leak, but no drops showed above you. You looked down at the smearing of blood and in, and another drop landed on your arm. You pressed a finger to your cheek, finding the source of the water. _Tears._ You pressed two tear-covered fingers into the mark. 

_You don’t deserve tears. This is all your fault,_ a voice in your head said.

It wasn’t Max ,but you weren’t sure it was yours. You agreed with it though. You wiped your fingers over your cheeks again, brushing away more tears before pressing back into the tattoo. 

_Kylo, Max, your apartment, your hand, Hux, all of it your fault,_ you thought as a sob cut through you.

* * *

The door to the room busted open, revealing a frantic-looking Kylo. You sniffed and dropped your hands, tucking them behind your back, hiding them as Kylo walked into the room and shut the door behind himself in a controlled manner. 

“What are you doing,” he asked, voice tight like a coiled spring.

“Nothing.”

“You have blood on your face.”

He turned toward you, face filled with rage, and you stepped back. A small splat drew your eyes downward, a small pool of blood forming behind you.

“What have you done, Y/N?” he asked, taking a step toward you.

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t matter to you, just leave me be,” you answered around a sniffle.

“Let me see,” Kylo pleaded, reaching out for you.

_NO_ , you yelled in your head, making him flinch.

“Don’t touch me,” you growled.

He walked slowly toward you like he was approaching a skittish animal. 

_That's what he thinks you are. An animal,_ the nasty voice said.

You backed up until the backs of your legs ran into the bed, and still Kylo advanced on you slowly. You sobbed. You didn’t want him to touch you, you didn’t want him to be here, you wanted to be _alone._

_You are alone._

Your knees wobbled under you, throwing you just enough off-balance to make you pitch forward. Kylo caught you, pulling you in and wrapping you in a hug and you sobbed into his chest while he held you tightly. You cried for your broken hand, you cried for your lost friend, you cried for your broken heart against his chest while he held you murmuring words against your hair. 

Eventually your sobs quieted but Kylo’s embrace on you didn’t loosen and you relaxed against him. 

“Can you show me what happened now,” he asked softly against your hair. “Please?”

You pulled out of his arms and held out your bloody arm to him. He took it gently and examined it. 

“Why?”

You pulled your arm out of his hands, not wanting to explain or justify, not that you were sure you could. He grabbed your arm again, turning it just so to judge the damage more thoroughly. After a few seconds more of examination he dropped your arm and left the room without a word. 

You waited a minute for him to return, but when he didn’t you decided to maybe take Poe’s advice and put on the sweats he’d brought you. You looked at the tag that marked it as brand new with the phrase ‘A woman’s place is in the rebellion,’ the words making you smile. You stripped off the itchy hospital gown and used it to rub at the blood on your arm; it flaked off a little but didn’t fully come off. You dropped the grown on the floor over the pool of blood then reached for the sweatpants and pulled them on quickly. You were glad your hot pink lace bralette had survived the trip to the hospital, even if it was the exact same shade of your cast.

“I grabbed the first aid kit. Poe had it in some obscure corner,” Kylo said as he opened the door.

You turned to him aware that the shirt was on the bed behind you. Kylo stopped, his gaze traveling down your chest and back up to your face. He cleared his throat and looked away, lips pursed and cheeks red. 

“I got supplies to clean your arm.”

You didn’t speak, just turned and reached for the shirt, but him clearing his throat again brought your attention back to him.

“It’ll probably be easier to clean if you leave the shirt off,” Kylo told you.

You shrugged and climbed onto the bed. There was no point in arguing, he wasn’t exactly wrong. He sat on the bed, trying to look everywhere but you, making you smile at his valiant effort to be a gentleman. You held out your arm to him again and he quickly swabbed it with stinging antiseptic.

“Ouch.”

Kylo rolled his eyes at you.

“Warning next time,” you whined.

“Yes, your highness. Shall I prostrate myself before you as well?” he asked.

“As you will,” you answered back regally.

Kylo snorted and you smiled at him.

_Eyes front eyes front eyes front,_ Kylo’s voice whispered in your head as he worked. 

“Whatcha thinking?”

Kylo started, pausing in his wrapping of your arm, guilt written on his face. 

“Nothing significant.”

You watched his eyes drift downward toward your chest before snapping back up to your face.

“Sure. _Nothing_ ,” you answered back cheekily.

Kylo didn’t answer, choosing to finish wrapping and securing the gauze on your arm instead. You leaned away from him, examining his work, which was rather good compared to what you could have done yourself.

“Thanks.”

You licked your lips nervously when he didn’t speak, drawing his eyes to your mouth. You froze in place waiting for something, anything, the recent sting of his rejection still fresh in your mind.

“I wasn’t rejecting you,” he said leaning forward.

“What do you call it then?”

“You caught me off guard is all,” he answered softly.

“And?”

Kylo leaned down, gently brushing your lips with his, sending a thrill through you. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling your body flush to his, lips almost to yours, when a knock sounded at the door .

“Pizza’s here!” Poe called cherrily from the other side of the door.

_Crap._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know Poe is a cockblocker we love him for it anyway. Feel free to scream about Poe in the comments lol


	9. Overnights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo turned, raising an eyebrow at you. You ignored it, choosing to keep walking and also ignore Max chattering in your head. You followed Kylo down the winding halls of Poe’s house, each hallway blending into the next until he stopped in front of a door marked with a large six on it.
> 
> “He did say bay six right,” Kylo asked you.
> 
> “I don’t remember, I was too busy swooning,” you told him bitingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was Beta'd by the amazing interestingpumpkin and thinkwritexpress they can be found here on AO3.
> 
> Thanks guys you're the best.
> 
> You guys are in for several treats!

You let out a nervous laugh, making Kylo look at you intently before he released his hold on you.

“You should wash your face, you still have a little blood on your forehead. Bathroom is through the door,” he told you, pointing at a door off to the side you had completely missed.

You slid off the bed and hurried to the bathroom. It was smaller than you expected, barely bigger than a walking closet, the sink, shower and toilet crammed into the tiny space. After the Continental, you expected something lavish and large, even if it wasn’t his house. You went to the sink and splashed water on your face and scrubbed at your forehead, avoiding looking in the mirror; you weren’t sure you could stand your reflection just now. You took a deep breath,dried your face on a towel hanging up in the bathroom, and stepped out to find Kylo leaning against the bed, lost in thought.

He was humming again and the song made you laugh.

“Devil in Disguise again?”

“I’m starting to think you’re the devil here,” He huffed.

“I’m a perfect angel,” you told him, tone sweet and harmless.

“So was Lucifer,” he grumbled back.

“Hey!”

Kylo flashed you a half smile that made your heart stumble in your chest.

_ Calm down girl it is just a smile.  _

You mouth dried as he stalked toward you, half smile dropping into something more sultry. You backed up until your back hit the bathroom door you didn’t remember closing. He put his hands around your head, trapping you between his arms, and leaned forward into your space.

“Poe will be waiting for us,” Kylo whispered to you, voice like chocolate, dark and velvet.

Your heart almost beat out of your chest while you processed the words behind the tone. Kylo lowered his arms but didn’t move away from you, watching your face, still close enough that you could smell his expensive cologne.

“Well, Y/N, let's get going. We don’t want you to get lost, do we,” he asked, his voice still seductive while he turned his back to you.

_ Somebody is feeling themself today,  _ you thought, rolling your eyes.

You didn’t say a word while you followed Kylo out of the room and down the twisting hallways. Your eyes drifted as you walked down the hallway, enjoying the variously texted wallpapers and framed pictures of planes. Your eyes landed on Kylo, watching him walk in front of you, your eyes tracing a path from the top of his head down his spine and landing squarely on his ass, which his dark pants hugged well and thoroughly, like a second skin. You marveled at how someone could look so delectable while fully clothed. A throat clearing had you tearing your eyes upward and shame heating your face.

_ Did he just catch me looking at his ass? _

“Yep,” Kylo answered your rogue thought.

_ Shit. _

Kylo didn’t say anything else but you could feel the smugness radiating off of him as you followed him through several more corridors before entering the kitchen. Poe sat at the kitchen table with an open box of pizza in front of him and he slid a plate in your direction that stopped just short of the edge.

“Plain cheese for Kylo, the heathen. Mushroom, onion, and sausage for me, a man of refined taste. And sausage for the new girl,” Poe informed you.

He pointed over his shoulder at two more pizza boxes on the counter, ignoring the glare from Kylo over the heathen comment. You grabbed the plate and grabbed 2 slices of cheese when Kylo opened the box and sat next to Poe. He glanced at your plate with a smile.

“No sausage? Are you a heathen like Kylo?”

“I like sausage. I’m just not in the mood for  _ your  _ sausage,” you told him.

_ Y/N one, Poe zero,  _ Kylo’s voice in your head said smugly.

“Maybe you’re in the mood for Kylo’s sausage,” Poe suggested curiously.

Kylo stumbled on his way to the chair across from you, earning raised eyebrows from both you and Poe. You waited until both men were chewing before answering Poe’s question:

“I’m not in the mood for Kylo’s sausage either.”

Both men choked on their mouthfuls of food while you took a bite and chewed, smug.

_ I believe that's 3 for me. _

You and the two men ate in silence while you snuck glances at Poe and Kylo. 

“Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living sweetheart?” Poe asked you suddenly.

“Is that your best line? It's kinda rusty,” Kylo said matter-of-factly.

You snorted, making both men turn to look at you.

“Don’t look at me, I didn’t say a word.”

Kylo rolled his eyes and Poe gave you a wide smile. 

“Should I bounce some lines off you and see what sticks?”

Kylo snorted and shoved his pizza away in disgust.

“Sure, give me your best shot. Extra points for performance. Me and Kylo too,” You said with a smile.

“You’ve got pick up lines?” Kylo asked in shock.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I want Kylo to go first so I can see what I’m up against,” Poe said, sounding giddy.

You looked pointedly at Kylo, who frowned at you for a second before having a heavy sigh.

“Is it hot in here or is it just you,” Kylo dead-panned.

“BOOOOOO,” you said disapprovingly. “Come on Kylo. Add some pizzazz. Poe?”

“Fun fact about me, pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.”

“Better, but no dice.”

“Lets see if you can do better,” Kylo challenged.

You watched as Poe pulled another slice of pizza out of the box and Kylo pulled his plate back toward himself.

“Do you wanna commit a sin before your next confessional,” you said to Kylo, voice pitched low.

“Oh wow, we might have a contender,” Poe said happily. “Let me hit you with this one. Hey sweetheart did you buy those pants on sale? Because at my place they're 100 percent off.”

You didn’t acknowledge the comment just because it had to be the single worst pick up line you’d ever heard. You looked at Kylo expectantly.

“Oh no, I’m not playing any more, we need to pack,” Kylo said, climbing out of his chair and carrying his empty plate to the sink.

“Please, just one more,” you pleaded.

You sneaked a peek knowing it was dark but not how late it was you just didn’t want the fun to end. 

“Fine I’ll deliver it on the way back to my room.”

“Wait, your room? What about me?”

“You can always share a room with me, sweetheart,” Poe offered.

“So I’ll see you in the morning Poe,” you said quickly.

You pushed your chair away from the table and walked your plate over to the sink, dropping it with Kylo’s. 

You followed him out of the kitchen and quickly down the twisting hallway without a word; it was uncomfortably quiet. Once he pushed his way into the room, Kylo headed straight to the bathroom and after a minute you heard the water start. You sat on the edge of the bed and tried not to let your mind wander to the handsome man showering several feet away from you, leaving your stomach in knots. Water cascading down his strong muscles while he lathered himself thoroughly with his hands from his chest down to his---

You shook yourself, cursing your mind for conjuring up images of Kylo. You sighed, doing your best to reign yourself in. 

_ It’s gonna be a long night. _

After a few more minutes the water shut off and Kylo emerged from the bathroom, his hair hung loose and wet around his shoulder; only a small towel draped around his waist covered him. You covered your eyes but listened as he walked toward you, leaning close.

“That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too,” he whispered to you, voice low and sensual. “The pick up line you requested.”

Your hand dropped in shock and you watched him rummage in the bedside table before pulling out a blowdryer. You slid off the bed and hustled into the bathroom just as the blow dryer started. You leaned against the door for a second, trying to clear images of Kylo from your head before starting the shower. 

_ He is attractive and it's been a while, that's all.  _

The words resounded in your head, tasting entirely too close to a lie for your comfort. You eyed the showerhead in the enclosed glass, wondering if it would bring you some relief before you shook the thought away. 

_ Not gonna happen. _

You undressed quickly and cast a glare at the bright pink cast on one arm and the thick bandages on the other.

_ Stupid cast and bandages, I can’t even shower in peace. _

You unwrapped your arm carefully, trying to not pull out too many of your arm hairs, and stepped into the shower, avoiding looking at the marks from Max. You grabbed the sweet-smelling bar of soap that was in the shower and lathered up, gliding the bar over your skin, and for a split second you imagined it was Kylo running the bar over your flushed skin. You shook your head, trying to shake off the traitorous thoughts, thoughts that seemed to plague only you.

“Fuck.”

You stood under the hot water spray with your head tilted away until it turned cold, and with yelp you dove out of the shower, grabbing the nearest towel and wrapping up in it. You glared at the now-cold water streaming from the showerhead, upset at your ruined shower;you reached in and shut off the water in disgust. 

“Just my luck, involuntary cold shower,” you grumbled, toweling off. 

You looked at the clothes you’d worn earlier and debated whether you should put them on or not, but you refused to sleep near Kylo naked. You snatched the clothes off the floor where you left them, pulling them on quickly and trekking out of the bathroom.

Kylo stood at the end of the bed, the towel still in place but nothing else.

“Come here, I need to rebandage that arm,” he ordered.

You considered arguing with him that you didn’t need more doctoring but as he looked over his shoulder at you, the look said he was not gonna accept no for an answer. You sighed and sat on the edge of the bed near him, extending your arm without a word.

“Shirt off.”

You groaned at his command. You had just put it on! Couldn't he have said something before you’d gotten fully dressed? You pulled the shirt off, revealing your neon pink bralette and extended your arm again as he started his work on your arm without a word. You let him work without speaking, keeping your eyes fixed everywhere but on him. 

You recited every color you could think of, anything to keep your mind off him wrapped in a towel, water still dewing on his pale skin. Your eyes trailed downward as you followed a water droplet that started at his clavicle picking up speed as it was joined by others in its downward dash that had you watching in interest. Your eyes reached his belly button and you realised his towel was gone, slipped off his narrow hips and fallen to the floor. You jerked your eyes skyward, suddenly finding the ceiling extremely interesting.

“Uh, Kylo, you’ve got a little situation going on.”

“Hm?”

“Your towel.”

“Nobody has ever looked down and said that was a  _ small  _ situation,” he answered, not moving to retrieve the fallen rectangle of fabric.

“Aren’t you gonna cover up?”

“Nope.”

He dropped your arm and you listened to him walk around the bed and felt it sink as he pulled the covers back and climbed in. You didn’t move from the end of the bed, keeping your back toward him and eyes skyward; you weren’t sure you could handle seeing him in his full glory right now.

“Are you gonna sleep at the end of the bed,” Kylo asked.

You sighed.

_ Why me? _

You climbed off the end of the bed then walked to the opposite side and climbed in. keeping as much space between you and Kylo as possible. Even with a foot of space between you, you still felt heat radiating off of him in waves, comforting and somehow familiar.

“You’re not a cover hog, are you,” you asked him, tone playfully accusatory.

“I can always sleep on top of the covers.”

He started to pull the cover off, exposing inches of pale flesh, and your brain short-circuited, your stomach tightening pleasantly while you watched, mouth bone-dry. He pulled the cover down to his waist before your mind fully caught up and processed the actions.

“Screw you,” you growled at him, rolling away and pulling the covers with you.

“I guess since you’ve taken all the covers we’ll just have to cuddle.”

You sighed and threw a corner of the blankets behind you, making them accessible to him. You felt a small tug as he resettled the covers over himself.

“You sure you don’t wanna cuddle Y/N?”

You didn't answer, closing your eyes instead and letting sleep pull you under, washing away the tiredness and hurt of the last few days. Your dreams were plagued with visions of Max whispering that he was coming for you and how much he missed you before a soothing presence intervened and washed him away, dropping you into a peaceful darkness.

You woke to sunlight streaming into the windows, feeling rested but itchy. You reached to scratch your arm,but couldn’t move - your arm was pinned to your side by Kylo’s arm on top of you. You struggled for a minute before you managed to free yourself, almost falling off the bed in your attempt. You rolled over and the words you had prepared to use to tell Kylo off died on your tongue when you faced him. He was still asleep, despite your earlier struggles, curls soft and wild. You reached out and pushed the curls away, revealing his face. Sleeping, he looked almost angelic. His face was relaxed and the tension was smoothed away, the moles and freckles that gave his face character seeming like tiny beacons calling attention to his aquiline nose and plush lips. You reached out again, this time pulling a curl around your finger and marveling at the softness of it; you wanted to bury your hands in it and get lost in it. A hint of ear peek through the curls and you ran a finger gently along the shell of it, a smile tugging at your lips,  _ maybe he keeps his hair long to hide his ears. _

“Looks like an angel,” you whispered.

“Don’t let the face fool you,” Kylo said cracking an eye open.

Your hand shot back and you scrambled away, almost falling off the bed, embarrassment making you clumsy. Kylo watched you with a small smile, not shifting from his position but looking entirely too pleased with himself.

“Shall I go back to sleep so you can keep doing what you were doing?” Kylo asked, tone smug. “And you were worried about me being handsy. I guess you got us mixed up.”

You crossed your arms and didn’t respond. What was there to say that wasn’t an outright lie? Kylo looked at you for a few more seconds before kicking the cover off, and you suddenly found the ceiling interesting again. You felt the bed rise as he climbed off and made his way to the bathroom. You bolted off the bed and opened the door,leaving the room. If he came back out still naked, you might just lose it. You leaned against the wall and heaved a sigh.

“Let me guess, you and Kylo had a fight and you were planning to come find me for a siesta,” Poe called suggestively.

You looked to your left to see Poe swaggering down the hall, looking comfortably dressed in a pair of pajama pants and a thin white shirt, and your eyes wandered over his toned body barely concealed by the thin material.

“See something you like sweetheart?”

“Would I be standing outside Kylo’s door if I did,” you asked sweetly.

“You wound me, sweets. But that was then, this is now,” Poe told you voice low and sultry.

You rolled your eyes but you were surprised that the tone didn’t twist your stomach like Kylo’s words had. Poe reached around you to turn the door knob, leaning in close enough for the smell of leather and man to drift over you and for the words Finn Fullbright to be seen on his shoulder. You read the words out loud.

“He is my soulmate,” Poe whispered back, sounding sad.

“When do I get to meet him,” you asked, trying to sound chipper.

“Probably around the same time I do.”

With that Poe breezed into the room and shut the door, leaving you in the dimly-lit hallway. Minutes passed in silence before you considered going back into the room, but when you reached out and touched the door, the words filtering out stopped you from pushing it open.

  
  


“---you’ve got to tell her Kylo. She doesn’t know and you can’t just drag her out to the cabin without telling her,” Poe said, voice muffled but angry. “She is your soulmate, she’ll understand.”

_ They are talking about me.  _ You knew you should step away from the door, but Kylo’s voice drew your attention back.

“I’m not sure she is anymore,” Kylo answered. 

There was a rustle of fabric and Poe swore colorfully.

“That guy, Max, he did something to our bound, he tattooed these symbols over her mark. Sometimes I can feel her in my head like a shining light and hear her, and other times it's like a mile-wide brick wall between us.”

“You can’t keep her in the dark, just take her up to the cabin and talk to her. Strategise. Make sure you come back in one piece,” Poe told him again somberly.

The sound of footsteps had you pressing your back against the wall like you had been originally, face neutral despite the words that you’d just heard. You absently listened as Poe flirted with you and told you the transportation had been handled.

“I have to stash you away from Max, so we’re going to my grandmother’s cabin and hoping nobody thinks to look there since it's off the books,” Kylo said, stepping out of the room behind Poe, fully dressed.

You looked at him and was completely taken aback by what he wore: a fitted red henley hugged his chest and the unfastened buttons revealed a tempting glimpse of that chest. Black jeans hugged his lower body tightly and a pair of black tennis shoes finished the look, _ and oh does he look good.  _ He made eye contact with you as he brushed his hair out of his face, making the shirt raise a few inches, revealing his flat stomach and the trail of dark hair that disappeared into his pants.

“Ugh I’m gonna go before he starts flexing,” Poe groaned. “The Jeep is in bay 6. Don’t wreck my car.”

Poe gave you a quick peck on the cheek and walked off, leaving you with a glaring Kylo. You waited for Kylo to say something, anything, but he started down the hallway without a word. 

_ Little Bird, I’m getting closer, your light is shining so brightly,  _ Max’s voice said inside your head.

_ Oh great it’s Max, I was hoping you died,  _ you respond, trying to keep the voice in your head neutral. 

_ I have information about Kylo. I got it from my new friend Armitage. He knows all about Kylo. He has even offered to help me get you back,  _ Max told you.

“Just leave me the fuck alone,” you shouted.

Kylo turned, raising an eyebrow at you. You ignored it, choosing to keep walking and also ignore Max chattering in your head. You followed Kylo down the winding halls of Poe’s house, each hallway blending into the next until he stopped in front of a door marked with a large six on it.

“He did say bay six right,” Kylo asked you.

“I don’t remember, I was too busy swooning,” you told him bitingly.

He opened the door and you followed him into a well-lit garage containing a pristine black Jeep. He yanked on the driver side door and it opened smoothly, then adjusted the seat and climbed in. You followed suit on the passenger side without a word. 

“We need to make a stop for supplies then we will be good to go.”

You said nothing in response, not wanting to stop your brooding over Max’s words and what you’d overheard. 

_ I shouldn’t have listened but they are hiding things from me, important things. I wish I could have gotten Poe alone and made him tell me. This whole situation is extremely fucked up. I just wish--- I don’t know what I wish.  _

Your thoughts were interrupted by the Jeep jolting into a store parking lot. You watched Kylo as he maneuvered over the pitted and unevenly paved parking lot, waiting for him to say something about the conversation he’d had with Poe. 

“We have to get clothes and a phone for you. Do you have anybody to call that might be worried about you,” Kylo asked voice low.

You shook your head as he rattled off the rest of his list of things that needed to be obtained, but you had tuned him out again, tumultuous thoughts taking the reins again. You climbed out of the car after him and walked through the parking lot and into the store with him, your shoulders tight and feeling like you were caving in upon yourself.

“Grab what you need and meet me back here in 20 mintues,” Kylo instructed before jogging off toward the grocery section.

You studied the sign over your head and maneuvered your way to the women’s clothing. You couldn’t remember what he’d suggested, so everything went into a pile on a bench near the fitting rooms to be gathered after you found a cart. Shoes, socks, pants and shirts were thrown onto the bench, but when it came to underwear, you hesitated. You looked at the frilly items on the rack and let your imagination run wild for just a moment -  _ Kylo pulling them off with his teeth.  _ You shook the thought out of your head and kept perusing the underwear. Not what you usually wore, but they’d do in a pinch.

_ Little Bird, I know something you don’t know,  _ Max said in a singsong tone.

_ Is it where the nearest deep hole is? _

_ I know a secret Kylo hasn’t told you. Can you really see yourself with somebody who lies to you, Little Bird? _

_ Stop calling me ‘little bird’ you lunatic. I’m not your little bird. I’m not even your friend at this point,  _ you told him, words scathing _. I hate you and I hope you die. _

_ Will you still feel that way after I tell you his secret,  _ he asked, his words gleeful.

“FUCK OFF,” you shouted. 

Your shout drew several looks that you ignored, choosing instead to attempt to continue your shopping.

_ Oh, little Bird, don’t fret. I’ll be there soon to hold you.  _

_ Just leave me alone, please,  _ you pleaded tears starting to prick at your eyes.

_ Oh, Little Bird, don’t cry. I’ll tell you. That way you can free yourself from him,  _ Max said voice syrupy sweet.  _ Kylo Ren is an Assassin. _

The words echoed in your head. 

_ Kylo Ren is an Assassin. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh? Eh? Eh? Find the 2 matching phrases between Max and Kylo and win the privilege of shrieking at the top of your lungs.


	10. Breaking News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You shuddered at what you heard. You could almost see it in your head, Kylo laying on a deserted road way with his body broken. You wanted to reach out to the broken man in your vision and cradle him, to reassure him everything would turn out alright. You looked at Kylo and the unshed tears in his eyes made your heart ache

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by interestingpumpkin and thinkwritexpress they can be found here on AO3.
> 
> Okay so at this point it gets dirty....yeah boy.....

_ Kylo Ren is an assassin. Kylo Ren is an assassin. Kylo Ren is an assassin. _

The frilly underwear you held in your hand slipped from your numb fingers, your mind repeating the words over and over while Max’s voice in your head spoke soothingly to you. Your stomach lurched and you had to fight down the nausea that rose at the words.

_ That’s not the only secret he is hiding from you. His name Little Bird, what is his name?  _ Max asked, his voice soft, almost concerned. 

“Kylo Ren,” you whispered aloud.

Your voice cracked with the words, leaving you feeling like your voice tried to stop you from uttering the lie.

_ Ben Solo, His name is Ben Solo. Now that I’ve revealed him, maybe it's time you come back to me, Little Bird,  _ he said, sweet and harmless.

Your ears rang as you wrenched yourself away from Max’s poisonous thoughts, but his words still rattled around in your skull like dice in a cup.

_ Assassin. Ben Solo. Assassin. Ben Solo. Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren. KYLO REN. _

You sank to the floor, hands clamped over your ears, trying to stop the rattling, trying to see past the words Max had sprung on you. You squeezed your eyes shut and cleared your mind, blocking out Max and Kylo. You could feel them both in your head, a chafing presence. 

A hand on your arm pulled you out of the storm of thoughts and dual voices screaming in your head. You staggered to your feet, eyes still closed and voices still drowned out. The hand on your arm moved and pried your hands away from your ears, and you finally opened your eyes to find Kylo standing in front of you, his expression concerned. You jerked out of his hold and turned away from him. The tidal wave his hands held back threatened to overtake you again.

“Don’t  _ touch  _ me,” you spat at him.

“What’s wrong? What did I do?”

“According to Max, you’re a fucking liar!” you shouted.

“Listening to the nutcase that zip tied you to a chair is always a good idea,” Kylo said sarcastically.

“Who is Ben Solo?”

The words you whispered took immediate effect. Kylo’s face paled as he stepped back from you, stunned. You waited a few seconds before turning on your heel and leaving the store. The fact that he had no answer was proof enough that he had lied to you. You power-walked toward the road. Between the feelings of anger and sadness, your heart cracked as your mind went over every lie. Tears streamed down your face as you walked, partially blinding you to the Jeep pulling to a stop behind you.

“Y/N, get in the car,” Kylo shouted behind you.

You didn’t respond and chose to keep walking. 

_ I just need to get away from him. _

“Please, Y/N,” Kylo pleaded from behind you.

“Leave her alone, dude, you’re dumped!” a man in a passing car yelled.

_ Y/N I’m sorry,  _ Kylo said in your head.

_ Who is Ben Solo? _

You stopped walking and turned to face Kylo. His head was tilted, making his hair fan across his face, hiding his expression from you. 

_ I’m Ben Solo. _

“Why should I trust you?” you called to him.

You started back in his direction, determined to wring the truth from him.  _ I can’t have another incident like I had with Max. _

“I’ll tell you everything.”

“Everything? Like why you don’t go by your name kind of everything?” you asked.

“I will, I promise. Just get in the fucking car,” he growled at you.

You finished your walk to the Jeep and climbed in, waiting for him to start the conversation. He started the car up and took off down the road back onto the highway without a word. You watched the scenery flash by, mind drifting. 

_ What if he’s some kind of serial killer? What if I’m his target? Do I even know this man? If he doesn’t give me a satisfactory answer I’m gone at the next stop.  _

Kylo glanced over at you before turning his eyes back to the road. You were sure he’d heard your thoughts, but he didn’t comment on them. You waited for a few more seconds for him to offer up the information.

“Before I explain, you have to understand some things are secret because they aren’t my secrets to tell,” Kylo started, his tone grave. “And I’m only going to go over this with you once because there are parts that not even I know.” 

You nodded, prepared to commit every word to memory.

“When I was a kid, I trained at my uncle’s dojo. My uncle, Luke, was a martial artist and a gunsmith. He wanted me to learn control and balance in my life. I lived with him and trained with him for years, learning different martial arts and my way around guns,” Kylo explained in a low voice.

“You asked me if I could shoot,” you pointed out.

“Yeah I did. I learned the beautiful calligraphy you write with too,” he said, casting a glance at your bright pink cast.

You pulled the sleeve of your shirt down to cover as much of it as you could suddenly embarrassed. 

“When I was 16, my uncle and I had a major falling out. I left and joined a gang, The Knights of Ren. I stayed with them for years, not realising how toxic they were. My dad pulled me out, but it cost him his life,” Kylo continued. “I was on the road with him one night. He was trying to talk me into going home to see my mother when his truck got ambushed. They killed him, and they killed me. They killed  _ Ben Solo _ .”

You shuddered at what you heard. You could almost see it in your head, Kylo laying on a deserted road way with his body broken. You wanted to reach out to the broken man in your vision and cradle him, to reassure him everything would turn out alright. You looked at Kylo and the unshed tears in his eyes made your heart ache.

“What about Poe? Where was he during all of this,” you asked.

“You’ll have to ask him. It's not my secret to tell.”

“If you died... how are you here?”

Kylo didn’t answer. Instead he concentrated on the road, humming again. You let him hum through  _ Devil in Disguise _ before you started to get impatient.

“I woke up handcuffed to a hospital bed with feds standing over me, telling me that I was a suspect in a list of crimes that would land me six feet under if I was convicted. That list included  _ murdering  _ my father. They threatened me with jail time before leaving. What I didn’t know is that the Knights of Ren took exception to me leaving and decided to move illegal goods that The First Order wanted via my father’s truck,” Kylo explained. “The Knights of Ren are lenient, but the First Order is a leave-no-witnesses kind of group. ”

“You were supposed to die with him.”

The realization shook you to the core. Nothing could have prepared you for the revelation that the man who was supposed to be tied to you almost didn’t survive to form the bond.

_ I might have ended up Max’s Soulmate,  _ you thought sourly.

“Nobody on the planet deserved to be tied to him,” Kylo said gruffly. “Sorry about earlier.”

You nodded absently and picked at the cast, resisting the urge to scratch at the growing itch.

“The doctors patched me up and released me. They told me I’d died on the table 3 times and they were surprised that I’d even survived. Before I made it 10 feet out of the hospital doors, the feds hauled me in, they were waiting for me to be released. First they threatened me, then they bargained. I didn’t have anything to give them, so I made them a deal; I’d take out the Knights of Ren and the First Order. But I’d need immunity for everything. Permanently. That included any jobs I took for them.”

You stopped picking at the cast and turned in your seat to look at him fully. Kylo’s expression had hardened while he told his story.

“I never killed innocents, only people that deserved it. Traffickers,untouchable, and murderers. People like that. I don’t just go on unchecked rampages. I have  _ standards _ ,” Kylo said, his tone harsh.

A few minutes passed in silence, broken only by Kylo taking deep, angry breaths. You wanted to say something but you didn’t want to interrupt if he had more to say.

“I killed them all. The Knights of Ren. That was the day Ben Solo completely died. He has a lovely gravestone, and he was buried with his father. I became Kylo Ren that day,” he narrated, his words starting to dip into a monotone.

“So, you really are an assassin?” you asked nervously. “What about your Mother and Poe, do they know?”

“They know and disapprove, but what can they do? The First Order needs to be stopped, or they’ll keep spreading.”

“Why me? Why did Armitage come after me?”

“I can only assume he came after you to weaken me. Nobody knows what effects the violent death of a soulmate can have,” Kylo answered.

You swallowed thickly.  _ He wanted me to give up Kylo’s secrets and then he was going to kill me?  _

“I’ll protect you, I swear. And I’ll stop them, and if Max has joined them, I’ll deal with him too,” Kylo promised fiercely.

“What were you going to tell me if I asked what your job was?

“Probably a police officer or something along those lines. Something safe.”

You didn’t ask any more questions as darkness fell and Kylo left you to mull over his words. Your heart sank the more you thought about everything he said and everything he hadn’t. He was an assassin, like Max said, but he hadn’t done anything overly threatening to you. 

“Wait, you said you pinned Armitage to my floor. Did you- I mean  _ how _ ? Why?”

“I pulled out a big ass knife and stabbed him through the chest with it, and pinned him to the floor. Not really rocket science,” Kylo answered with a shrug.

“How big was the knife?”

“The blade was about 14 inches.”

_ The amount of strength he’d need to do something like that is incredible. That is both extremely sexy and absolutely terrifying. _

The words caught up with the rest of your brain.

“Wait, you left a man pinned to the floor of my apartment! Oh god I’m going to jail,” you groaned.

“He isn’t dead. Phasma can take his wounds from him. And they probably burnt down your apartment anyway.”

“And that is better how?” you asked, glaring at him.

Kylo shrugged and pulled off at the nearest exit and into a hotel parking lot.

“Why are we stopping? I thought we had a ways to go.”

“We do, I’m just tired. Get us a room and I’ll get us food,” Kylo directed.

You looked down at your clothes and back at him. 

You gestured at your sweat pants and said “Pockets.”

He dug into his own pocket and pulled out a cellphone and a credit card, pushing them to you. 

“My number is programmed in, text me which room it is.”

You climbed out of the Jeep and watched him speed out of the motel parking lot. You tapped the credit card thoughtfully against your chin while you pondered Kylo’s stunning revelations. You’d never heard anything so convoluted and twisted. If Max hadn’t already confirmed it in an attempt to get you away from Kylo, well, you’d never believe it. With that disheartening thought, you strode into the office of the motel.

After 10 minutes of haggling and a non refundable incidentals deposit that you were sure went into his pocket, you managed to get a double room. You glared at the man behind the desk and stalked out of the office, taking out the phone Kylo had handed you. You opened the contacts list, and true to his word, he was the only contact. You punched in a text message with the room number and pocketed the phone.

_ Where are you, Little Bird? I can come and take you away from him, _ Max’s voice spoke gleefully in your head.

_ Stay the fuck away from me, Max. I swear you’ll regret it if you don't,  _ you snarled, sending every ounce of anger you felt through the connection.

You felt him flinch away from your thoughts, making you smile in satisfaction. Maybe the bastard finally felt an ounce of the pain he had caused.

_ Don’t worry, Little Bird. I’ll be there to save you,  _ Max promised, his voice sounding far away and muffled.

While you walked, you pulled all the anger and pain you felt around you, using it to shield your mind. Max being in your head was a violation that couldn’t stand, no matter what the reason. 

_ No more,  _ you thought grimly.

You made it to the room you’d texted to Kylo and unlocked the door; it surprised you that the hotel hadn’t switched to electronic keypads, but that wasn’t your business. You double-checked the door was locked then dropped the key with a clang on the little table by the door. Walking to the bed furthest from the door, it looked clean enough, so you kicked off your shoes and climbed in.

_ I’ll get up when Kylo needs to be let in. _

You were pulled from sleep by a rhythmic sound, unidentifiable and soft. You looked to the empty bed across from you, noting with tired interest that Kylo wasn’t wasn’t there. You held your breath for a few seconds and angled your head to get a better feel for where the sound was coming from. When you determined it was coming from the bathroom, you climbed out of the bed and padded silently to the door. The sound of flesh-on-flesh followed by a sigh was unmistakable.

_ I should go back to bed, _ you told yourself.  _ But what if it's some random person? That clerk was pretty sketchy. _

You peered through the crack of the open door, resolved to scream bloody murder, but the sight in front of you froze the sound in your throat. Kylo was seated on the edge of the crummy bathtub, hunched over himself with his shirt clamped between his teeth, one arm braced on the side of the tub, the other moving rhythmically over his length. Your eyes strayed from his face, unable to keep yourself from watching his cock disappear in his fist. A bead of precum formed at the head and he spread it across the length of his cock with the palm of his hand, easing the friction as he thrust into his fist. The new sensation pulled another muffled whimper out of him that had your eyes shooting back to his face. He let his head fall back as he let out a low groan, and you sighed as the sound set you aflame. His motions halted at the sound, and he quietly called out your name, guilt heavy in the word. 

You backed away, slowly and soundlessly, retreating to your bed and climbing in, laying motionless. A few seconds passed before Kylo walked out of the bathroom and stopped at the end of the bed. He called your name again softly, as if he wanted your attention but was afraid to wake you. A few more seconds passed before he went back to the bathroom, shutting the door with a soft click. You rolled over and the scene played before your eyes over and over until you drifted back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay not as dirty as I made it sound but still counts


End file.
